I've been meaning to get around to that!
My name is Karen and I'm a procrastinator. Like it's any big secret to those that know me. I mean, it's not a crime or anything, is it?
But the other day, as I was sitting in the church (I really like the 15 or 20 minutes that I have to reflect in the mornings) just about to leave, inspiration hit. Divine inspiration? "It's the procrastination," the 'voice' said. Wasn't really a voice - just a "knowing". Somewhat out of nowhere, because I don't think I was praying for much of anything specific. Just kind of sitting in the Presence.
I've approached this Lent with a spirit of openness..."tell me what you want me to know, God". So for God to tell me that I procrastinate, that wasn't any big news. I've always "worked better under pressure." I don't think I've ever seen "Do you procrastinate?" on any examination of conscience list. Maybe they haven't gotten around to putting it there yet? (just kidding...)
And in that moment - it really didn't take long - because I was getting ready to leave (and since I'd waited until the last moment to leave...there wasn't much time to spare) I knew that procrastination IS a problem in my life...something that needs to change. Something that God can help me change. Something that I can fast from.
It permeates just about every area of life. I have library books in the back seat of my car. Why not just take them back? Bills that don't get paid on time. (Although payroll deduction is the best thing since ice cream for that.) Paperwork that doesn't get turned in on time. Messes that don't get cleaned up. Stuff that doesn't get done. Because it is too overwhelming to know where to start. My vehicle inspection is expired.
Is it a sin? Does it come under sloth? I don't know. Probably. But I know that it makes my life less than what it could be, and that is what I said when I went to confession the other day. It is something that I need the help of the Divine Physician to heal.
Why did I not think of this before? It really is pretty obvious. I think that God shows us bit by bit according to what we can handle what we need to know.
So the accompanying Lenten idea was to make a list of things that I've been putting off. I have a cool "sticky note" app on my iPad for that. (So you can't really see it here, but you can get the basic idea...) Each day I will do something towards something on the list. Maybe I won't get it all the way scratched off. But progress counts for something. Forward momentum.
Prayers for success?
Deliver Me, Jesus: The Litany of Humility
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