Earlier in the week, by way of making a point about how what we give to God (in prayer or whatever) is always imperfect (because we are not God), Father mentioned something about "absolute conversion". Not a term I've heard before, but as I thought about it afterwards, my gut reaction was, "but I don't want absolute conversion." I mean, I'm willing to give God about 95% or so (that's still an 'A'), but 100%??? I want to keep something for me. Now, intellectually, I know that everything I am and possess is because of God. Without Him, I have absolutely nothing, so really nothing should be held back - like the widow who gave her last 2 coins. But there is a part of me, deep within, that says, "no, you can't have it all; I need to keep some."
Today's gospel and homily echoed those thoughts. The young man who asked Jesus what more he needed to do to follow Him. Jesus told him to go sell everything he had and give it to the poor, and he went away sad, because he had many possessions. So what possesses us? What do we need to let go of so that God can give us everything He has for us? Our anger? Our laziness? Love of pleasure?
Why do we hang on to the things we hang on to? What is it that I am hanging on to? What would I not give, if Jesus asked? Food for thought and prayer, I guess.
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