finding sacred silence

Today I went off in search of some Sacred Silence.  I had dropped my younger child off for Freshman Orientation, and since we no longer live 4 minutes away from the school, I didn't want to go all the way back home.

That and the fact that I am flying next week.  And if you've read this blog for long, you know that I will do what I can to get to confession before stepping on a plane.  I really hate dislike flying.  With all matter of out of town company and festivities for my MIL's 80th birthday, I figure my best chance for confession is at 6:15 Friday morning.  And at that hour, I need to have my "thinking" done ahead of time.  And the best place to do that thinking and searching is in the company of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

So I went in search of Sacred Silence.  The picture above...it is the road that I travel to get to the newly opened Adoration Chapel right by my house.  2.2 miles.  And it opened the week before we moved in.  How perfect is that?  But I digress....

First I dropped by my old house to feed the cats and wander through.  Everything is mostly sorted and packed (except for a front porch/storage area and a huge shed).  I thought it would seem bigger when the stuff was out, but it does not.  It is mostly silent there, but it is not sacred.  And it DOES make a difference.

My next stop was at the church near my school.  It is one of the few that is unlocked during the day, and I like that I can sometimes (often) go, sit in the natural lighting and be the only person there.  But today, when I drove up, I was met with the sight of old-lady-mobiles.  (Sorry, if that sounds stereotypical, but you know them when you see them...)  Anyway, they were parked very creatively to maximize any potential shade from the ornamental parking lot trees.  That was a sign that they were there for the long haul.  But I decided to give it a whirl.  Maybe they were there praying.  But as I opened the door and strains of merry conversation drifted my way, I knew that Sacred Silence, it would not be.

My next option was the Adoration Chapel by my old house...where I have spent some wonderful hours.  Silence is golden there.  Oh, the wonderful delight of sitting there with Jesus...without judgment or condemnation...just glad to be there. And my kind pastor pointed out one weekend...not only do we enjoy spending time with Jesus...he delights in spending time with us! 

And so I find my silence with Jesus and pray...

Lord, we need to walk together down the road.

The road of undones, the road of not good enough, and shouldn't have dones.

Lord, I wish that I could come before you perfect, but I don't.

And even more, I hide my imperfections from myself, 

but I know you know my hiding places, and I want you to help me find them.

He does not disappoint.