Monday, March 29, 2010

late blooms


I made it this morning!  Imagine that something would actually go according to plan!  But I was there at the appointed time for confession.  Perfect timing because another sinner was exiting the confessional just as I entered the church.  I think my heart always pounds on the way, but once I sit down and start, the nervousness mostly goes away.  "Bless me Father..."  Same formula I memorized back in third grade.  Only the sins have changed.  So I went down the list on my post-it-note.  Don't want to be too long-winded, but there are always things in life that can be done better.

 I mentioned at the end, my disappointment in this Lent.  Not that it was necessarily a sin, but I knew the good monsignor would have an honest assessment for me.    We talked for a few minutes about that. He told me not be be too quick to pronounce this Lent as a failure; that it might be a "late bloom".  I told him I was hoping!  (The above picture is from my garden - one of my Easter Lillies.  Looks like it might be a late bloom, too!)  He also said that it IS alright to let God know what we would like for Him to accomplish in our lives, as long as we understand that our part in that is to surrender and be open to whatever His plans might be.  He always wills our good; even if it's not in the way that we had planned.

It was a pretty good day today.  My assistant said my cheeks were rosy.  More likely from being out in the sun yesterday cutting the grass, but I told her it was that "after confession glow".  All that grace!  I'm ready for Holy Week.  The sins have been washed away, and I am sitting here doing my best to be open to whatever Jesus is accomplishing with me this Lent.

On the way home, I heard an Amy Grant song that I had not heard before.  The chorus says. 

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah
I thought that fit the mood pretty well.

And here is one more song that makes me think of confession and God's awesome gift of mercy every time I hear it:  

Happy Holy Week!

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