Yesterday morning, after a long and exhausting week at school, I got into my car to take one dear son to a swimming party. On the way home - because it would be forbidden to interfere with his diet of classic rock - I switched over to my CD of the Seven Sorrows Rosary. Tuesday and Friday are the "preferred" days to pray this rosary, but I'd missed them both this week. So Saturday morning found me listening and meditating - although the meditating was somewhat scattered. One thing that did catch my attention though, was the prayer asking the Blessed Mother to obtain humility and wisdom for those praying the Rosary. A nice combination, I thought. Both of which I am in constant need of.
I enjoy going to Mass on Saturday afternoons, so yesterday found me there. And what would the homily be about, but humility and wisdom? Humility is openness to the Truth, Father says. And Wisdom is the ability to see and accept that Truth. (I've also heard "wisdom" defined as "seeing things as God sees them.") In any case, Father says that we all have a "no compromise" point. The "I will follow Jesus until He asks for _______" or "I will follow Jesus as long as I don't have to ____________." But Jesus does not leave us where we are, so He asks us to give those "no compromise points" to Him. He says that we have these points either because of stubbornness or fear. "Lord, I'm just this way, and I'm NOT changing." That would be stubbornness. Or, "Lord, I'd like to let that go, but I'm afraid of what would happen if I do." I do think I see myself in both of those scenarios.
And so we go. Life goes on. I will enjoy the extra day of vacation this week. The weather is cooler the past few days - hanging out in the 80's instead of the 90's. Trying (not very successfully) to get more sleep. And hoping that all things together will result in me being less tired and able to still function in the evenings.
Lord, grant me humility and wisdom.
Editing to add: The "bottom line" of the homily: The cost of following Jesus is nothing less than everything.