God's promise

For more than one reason, the end of school last year was brutal.  There was a lot of prayer, a little fasting,  and a ton of grace involved in making it to the end.  I made it, but I had a lot more gray hair when the year was over.  This summer has been good; a time of renewal.  I have prayed that things will be different, and I know that God can do wondrous things.  But on the other hand, I am very much afraid of what He has waiting for me or what will be expected of me in the upcoming year.  As bad as last year was, I can tell you in specific ways how this year might be worse.

I went to Mass this morning and stayed after for some quiet time.  I talked to God about this.  Intellectually, I know "be not afraid."  I struggle to admit that the fear comes from a lack of trust that God knows what is best for me, and that whatever happens, He will be there.  The "whatever" is where the problem is, I think.  I don't mind carrying a cross, but I really would like MY way to be nice and smooth (so that it doesn't hurt to walk in bare feet) and I would prefer if the cross wasn't too heavy.

On the way home this morning, I snapped this picture.  Yep, another interstate snapshot.  I just set the camera on the steering wheel to steady it, point it in the general direction and hope for the best.  Sometimes you get lucky.  (If I had my other computer, I would crop out the power lines and make it a little prettier,  but you get the general idea here.)  

Do you think God is telling me that it will be alright - "whatever" it is?  He will be there with me.  Just a gentle reminder for one who finds it hard to trust the One who is all-good and all-loving.

I saw a rainbow last Tuesday, too.  I was on my way home from the monastery, and very uneasy about my first flight before I even got to the airport.  Sure enough, it was bumpy for about the first hour or so.  I could see those big engines bouncing around on those 2-inch thick wings.   On my second flight, though, I looked at the window back over the wing, and saw a rainbow.  I knew it would be OK.  

Lord, I believe.  Help my unbelief.