i said yes

A few days after the confession in this post, I got an email from my pastor.  The email was in reply to one I had sent him a couple of weeks earlier about finishing up the painting in the parking lot.  He answered my question, and then thanked me for my patience, as it had taken him quite a while to reply.  He had a few kind words, and then closed by saying that he and Jesus would "love" to have me as a Eucharistic Minister, and asked what I thought about the idea.

My first thought was, "Anything but THAT!"  I was a Eucharistic Minister for a brief time when I was in college, and as terrible as it sounds, it wasn't something I really enjoyed.  I had issues with the technical aspect of giving Communion on the tongue.  Placing the Blessed Sacrament in someone's hands is not too difficult.  On someone's tongue apparently required a bit more eye-hand coordination than I had at the time.

Over the years, I've had a few people suggest that I serve in this ministry, and I've always told them, "no thanks".  Perhaps as a lector, if there was need, but not as a Eucharistic minister.  I am quite happy just sitting in the comfort zone of the pew. But now I've got Jesus AND my pastor asking.  How do you say "no" to Jesus?

The doubts immediately start to flood in.  I don't have the "right" clothes.  I don't like being in front of people.  I don't know what I'm doing.  All about me and my issues, you notice.  But this is not about me, at all.

So I told my pastor that I was going to spend a few days the following week at the monastery and that I would give him a definite answer when I got back.

I will confess that I didn't spend tons of time praying or thinking about that particular issue while I was there.   But there were things that seemed to open the way to serving and a lot of things that seemed to point to the idea of developing a deeper relationship with Jesus in the Eucharist..  The idea of doing what Jesus asks, of putting Him first, of bringing Him to others.  There was another thought about setting an example....how can I expect my kids to serve as altar servers, if I am not willing to serve? 

After I got back, I told my pastor that I was WAY out of my comfort zone with such a thing, but I said "yes".   He was OK with that, and said not to worry. 

So, be not afraid?  But do say a prayer as I take another step out of that comfort zone.