so much grace

Something about this time of year makes me want to put down thoughts somewhere and Facebook just isn't the right medium for it.

It's been a time of grace - the last few months.  Lent started in February and I wrote down a prayer or two. "Lord, grant me the wisdom and humility to see myself as you do....Help me to see."

And instead of caving into the temptation to do a million things for Lent, I picked 2 things - getting up when the alarm went off the first time and writing names of friends and family on a calendar and praying/offering the sacrifices of each day for them.  Both of my Lenten observances were works in progress.  The calendar worked when I remembered to look to see who I was praying for.  So many days the conversation went, "Lord, I am offering this Mass for whoever is on my calendar today."  I had even taken a picture of it on my phone, so I would have it.  But then most days for Mass my phone was in the car.  And getting up when the alarm went off...well, that went OK the first week, but then Daylight Savings Time happened, and the struggle was on.

God, for His part did grant the things I asked for.  Oh, indeed I could see, and there were other things that He put in my path that I took advantage of.  God would get an A+ for this Lent.  I was probably about a C-.
One of the graces of Lent was a Catholic Youth Fest held at a seminary a couple of hours from home in late March.  I had heard of it a few years ago, but at the time going just wasn't in the cards.  This year, it was.  Both of my boys and their girlfriends went, and ENJOYED it!

Tell me this is not a grace.  Of all the lines...food, bathroom, church tours... this was by far the longest. There were about 2 dozen priests scattered throughout the clearing in the woods, sitting under umbrellas. They said that over 800 people made their way through the confession line that day.  

 And this.  4,500 people  - most of them teens - at Mass with an Archbishop, 2 Bishops, and dozens of priests.  Right before Mass ended, the Archbishop addressed the crowd, asking for those young people who were actively discerning or who would be OPEN to discerning a vocation in religious life,  should the Lord call, to come forward.  There were hundreds who did so.  My youngest turned around and said to me, "Well, that's an awkward question to say "yes" to when your girlfriend is right here!"  Grace.

 Here's my four favorite young people at Mass.  Boys and their girlfriends - one Catholic, one not.  All claimed to have enjoyed the day and asked about returning next year.  Grace.

Young people praying in the Chapel Tent in the woods.  Quiet. Still.  Grace.

Early in the week, there had been a 90% chance of rain forecast for the day of the Festival.  Gradually, it subsided to 50%.  It was a beautiful, warm, spring day, and the rain held off until about 8 pm.  At that time, the events abruptly concluded before the final speaker finished and before the candlelit adoration.  But that was grace, too.

My "take away" was from the last speaker - a seminarian named Joe Bass.  He was leading up to Adoration, and told the teens, "Jesus did not come to bring you a good conduct report.  He didn't come to bring you a sticker and a Dum-Dum.  He came to meet you in your brokenness."

This year, our pastor was available for confessions on the Tuesday evenings of Lent.  Only 30 minutes, but it still beats Saturday afternoons.  I went one of the Tuesday evenings towards the middle of Lent, and I was #4 of 4 penitents, I think.  The Tuesday of Holy Week, he was available for an hour, and there was a much bigger crowd.  It was to this one, that one of my teens accompanied me.  When they were much younger, we used to indulge in ice cream after confession.  Some things don't change, I discovered. But it's grace when your young adults will still set foot in a confessional.  And for the record...that flavor of ice cream...worth every single calorie.  My penance that night was to offer Mass the next day in thanksgiving for God's mercy and to be open to His graces during Holy Week with a "warm heart".

Wednesday was our Tennebrae Service.  I always go, but don't always walk away inspired.  This year, I got a text in the middle of the day from our choir director asking if I was going and if I would read for it.  Being open to whatever graces might be there, I answered back "yes and yes".  I spent the day at our Special Olympics Track meet and it was hot and very sunny.  I was spent by the time the evening rolled around, but the music was lovely - you could just sit back, close your eyes, and listen, the Psalms, Lamentations...it all came together.

Holy Thursday is my favorite day of the Liturgical Year, I think, and for weeks, I had contemplated taking the day off.  At some point, I got an email from one of my friends during Lent inviting me to the Passion Play on Thursday morning at her son's school, and I figured that was a sign to take the day off.  So I did.

The Senior Class put on the play, and it was well-done and moving.  My youngest son, who had gone to school with some of these kids in elementary and middle school also took the day off and came with me. Grace.

The next stop of the day was the Chrism Mass.  I've been a few times before, and love it.  My regular church lady friend couldn't come, so I invited my sister-in-law.  I sensed that she wasn't sure about coming, because she had a lot to do that day, but she did.  The priests of the diocese come to this Mass to renew their promises as a priest and also to receive the blessed oils (thus the name Chrism Mass) for use in their ministries and parishes.  As you see row after row of priests file into the pews, you are struck by the diversity of the priesthood.  There are fat and skinny, tall and short, old and young.  Priests in shiny loafers and priests in worn black sneakers.  Black, white, Indian, and Asian.  Priests who are bald and even a priest with a pony tail.  And then there is a deep appreciation for all of them - whether they are long-winded or short and sweet, arrogant or humble, simple or extravagant, funny or serious, - a deep appreciation for their "yes". Grace.

I have no pictures of the Chrism Mass; it would just not be appropriate to pull out a camera or an iphone and start clicking.  And it probably wouldn't capture it anyway...the sights, the music that is right next to heaven, the incense. When all was said and done, my sister-in-law turned to me and says, "We're coming EVERY year!"  Grace.

Thursday evening is the Mass of the Lord's Supper, and if I could only go to one Mass a year, this would be it!  I have no pictures of it, either.  It is a simple affair at our parish.  No feet are washed.  Adoration only continues for an hour after Mass.  But the Eucharistic procession touches me every year.  Our priest carefully wraps his vestment around the ciborium containing the Blessed Sacrament, as a mother would wrap up a child going out into the cold, holds it close to him and slowly processes around the inside of the church, up and down each side.  It gets me every time - Jesus walking among us.  It is grace.  And the period of Adoration...it passes way too quickly, but it is a lovely, quiet time to reflect on Lent that is now over and to look forward to the events of Good Friday and beyond.  Grace.

There was a side note to my grace this year.  All during Lent, and even before, I have struggled with getting to daily Mass on time.  For the past few years, I have driven my kids to the bus stop, waited for the bus, and then proceeded to Mass, and the times worked out perfectly - I was seldom late.  Now my remaining high schooler drives himself most days, and the urgency to get out of the house is not the same.  I have brought the struggle to confession, once, twice, maybe more.  It has been way harder than it needs to be.  But the struggle is real, as they say.  I know that I checked the time for the Chrism Mass, and relayed the time to my sister-in-law.  I "knew" it was at 10:00, and we were there nearly an hour early.  10:00 rolled around, and things didn't seem to be starting.  Oops, it was 10:30.  As I sat there waiting, it occurred to me that God had indeed found a way to get those minutes back that I had been late.  Grace!

That would be funny enough, except that I repeated the scenario almost exactly for the evening Mass.  I had copied and pasted the Mass schedule from last year's (or the year before's) altar server schedule and missed the fact that Mass was at 6:30 and not 6:00.  I felt a little bad for my altar servers who were there an hour early, but they (and their parents) were good about it.  Grace. And God's sense of humor.

May God's grace find you in the celebrations yet to come as part of the Triduum and the Easter season. Look for Him with a warm heart and an open mind.

doors

It seems that doors have been slipping in and out of my thoughts of late.  Kind of random, I know.

Last Saturday, as I quietly entered the adoration chapel, I took note of the door.  A keypad on the outside.  Then carefully, slowly, closing the door behind me as I entered, so as not to disturb the others.

It reminded me of the way I enter the confessional, minus the keypad.  Stepping inside and quietly closing the door behind myself.  And in both cases, it is Jesus who waits on the other side of the door.   In the Chapel in the Eucharistic Presence.  In the confessional, in Persona Christi –  in the person of Christ present through the priest who offers counsel, mercy, absolution.  Grace and peace available in both places – overflowing grace and mercy and peace.

During the Triduum and sometimes during Communion at Mass, I am struck by the open tabernacle.  It was about the doors again.  During the Triduum, the Tabernacle is open, empty.  When Mass begins on Holy Thursday, the Tabernacle is empty.  After the Eucharistic procession, the Blessed Sacrament is placed in the Tabernacle during Adoration, but the end of the appointed time, it is removed, and again the Tabernacle is vacant.  There is a feeling that all is not quite right in the world.  On Good Friday and on into the Easter Vigil, the Tabernacle is empty and its emptiness in there for all to behold.  When finally, at the end of the Easter Vigil Celebration, the Eucharist is placed in the Tabernacle, and the door is closed, there is a sense that order has returned to the world.  During Communion last week, it occurred to me that the empty Tabernacle is rather like the empty tomb.  Jesus is among us.

The weekend after Easter, the Gospel is the one for Divine Mercy Sunday.  The one where the  Apostles are gathered behind locked doors.  My priest chose to concentrate on the "locked doors" for his homily.  We all hide behind "locked doors" of some kind.  Whether its a locked door of impatience, unforgiveness, fear, addiction, anxiety, etc.  God is with us - as he was with the Apostles - behind the locked doors.  Later that afternoon, I emailed my pastor about the possibility of blessing the Eagle project detailed in the previous post.  He knows my struggles and my situation well, and I signed my email with something along the lines of  "unlocking doors, one deadbolt at a time".  He replied that he would indeed bless the project and that I could "start with the hinges if the lock was very difficult to turn".  This made me smile, and I thought for a minute, that maybe he was talking about someone else in my life who is very difficult, but then I realized that I don't have the keys to that person's locks.  It must be my own hinges that I need to start with.

There is a door that I often stand in front of.  It is the door to the tabernacle at a church near where I currently work.  There are images of wheat there.  The Bread of Life within.  Me, just a grain of wheat.

Sometimes, when no one else is in the church, I feel myself drawn to the Tabernacle.  I kneel in front and try to open myself to the graces He has to give.  Sometimes my prayer is, "Lord, fill me."  So much strength and peace comes from those quiet moments.  When school is out, and I am no longer in that area on a daily basis, I miss these minutes very much.

I began this post a week or so ago, and tonight another door image floated into my consciousness.  It has been a very difficult year at work.  We changed principals at midterm and our new principal proposed that she be allowed to "reconstitute" the school.  Last night her proposal was approved by the school board. This means that all staff must reapply for their jobs.  Most are seeing it as an opportunity to leave.  I am viewing it with mixed emotions.  I have been at this school for half of my life.  The friendships I have made there will endure, I think.  People have come and gone, but we have always been a family.  There is the feeling that the door on this chapter of my life is clanging shut a little sooner than I would have liked.  I have 3.5 years to retirement.  But, I have confidence that God will put me where I need to be.  When one door closes, another tends to open.

Knock, and the door shall be opened.

waiting and celebrating

My friend and I helped our pastor decorate after Good Friday Services.  He has some sense of how he wants things to look, so our function is mostly to carry things, hand him things, and offer suggestions.  This gives you some sense of how it looked when we were finished.

Holy Saturday is supposed to be a day of waiting....of anticipation.  Ideally, I guess.  Of course there were things to do...shopping for a few last minute Easter purchases, household chores, a practice for my altar server sons for the Vigil, the decision on what to wear and making sure all was ready.

My boys have served for the Easter Vigil for the past many years - six, maybe.  It's not like I get a lot of volunteers for a Mass that exceeds an hour and requires a practice.  But I think they don't mind too much.  They dressed nicer than usual without me forcing them to.  They were ready to go on time.  They didn't complain about the practice in the morning.  My older son was in charge of the incense and the younger was in charge of holding the book for Father.  They both did a great job tonight!

Usually I just blend into the crowd, but tonight I was on the schedule to serve as an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion.  (the technical term for Eucharistic Ministers who are not priests are deacons)  I own exactly one dress, and I thought tonight might be an appropriate time to wear it.  In the end, I went with it, and I was glad I did.  Everyone looked so nice!

The music was wonderful!  The homily was excellent - about seeking Jesus in the Right Places - with the eyes of faith; not with the eyes of the world.  If we seek Him with the eyes of the world, we will be looking for Him where we THINK He should be...not where he is.  So where do we - the lost sheep - look for the Good Shepherd?  In the sacramental life of the church.  In the faith community of people who are humbly and sincerely looking for the truth.  In His Word (dust off that Bible, he said!)  In the depths of our own heart and in prayer that is more about listening and surrendering to change than in talking and trying to tell God how to change.  And in the people around us who "need a good dose of the Lord".

As we left, Jesus was back in the Tabernacle.  There was a sense for me that all was once again right in the world.

Dear hubby and I went to 8:30 Mass Easter morning.  It was standing-room only, but very much "business as usual".  Jesus was in the tabernacle, the music was nice - but not spectacular, the candles were lit like any other Sunday, there was no incense, no Easter Proclamation.  For those who were not able to participate in the celebrations of the Triduum, it appears as if nothing much has really changed.  The empty tabernacle at the beginning of Holy Thursday, the Eucharistic Procession, Jesus being removed from the tabernacle at the end of Adoration on Thursday, the starkness and emptiness of Good Friday, the darkness and the Easter Fire, the new candle, and so much more... all occurred between the Sundays, and were missed by Sunday-only attendees. 

Since one of the themes of the past week was gratitude, I suppose I am oh-so-grateful that I was able to participate in the celebrations and services between the Sundays!  Now....we get to celebrate Easter for 50 days!  Let the party begin!! 

victory

Sometimes you just don't need a lot of words.   Sometimes the visual says what we can't. 

I have heard some good homilies the past few days - 4 in three days, I think, starting with Tenebrae.  At our Holy Thursday Mass, our good priest reminded us that it is about gratitude and victory.  

And today, at the Good Friday service, he reminded us that it not a day of sorrow and mourning, but a day of victory, joy, and gratitude.  Jesus was in complete control the whole time.  This is not something that happened to Him, but something He willingly did for us to save us because he loved us.  For so long, I thought it was Jesus and the no good, very bad, horrible day.  Couldn't understand why it was "Good" and I surely couldn't understand why Jesus just didn't give them the answers - didn't say something - to make it all stop.  Now I understand.

Tonight I watched the Passion of the Christ with the rest of my family.  It was the first time I had seen it in its entirety.  It was graphic, but very well done.  

Wishing a Good Friday to all!  

the priest and the dentist

I dipped my big toe into Heaven today by attending the Chrism Mass this morning at our Cathedral!  Last year a friend and I went, because it was something on my "bucket list".  We decided last year that it might have to be an annual event for us, but in actuality, it was yesterday evening before we finalized plans.  With the issues in my household lately, lets just say I wanted to avoid drama.

We got there well in advance of the start of Mass - mostly because of the parking - and we found seats right around the vicinity of last year's.  Most of the seating in the Cathedral is reserved, so it is good to get there early!  In our section were a lot of young families and middle aged + women.  Last year, I was struck by the diversity of the priesthood.  The vast majority of those in the diocese are present, and there are short, tall, young, old, black, white, Asian, long haired, short haired, and bald ...   After the homily,as seen here, they renew they renew their Priestly Promises. 

Credit for all these beautiful pictures goes to P.C. Piazza. I hope he does not mind me sharing them. 

This year, though, I was struck by the richness of our faith.  The sensuality of it.  A faith that is so vibrant we can see it, hear it, touch it, taste it, smell it.  Not that any of those things stand in the place of faith, but they are a way to represent what is so abstract and so hard to define.  A human way to represent the divine, maybe.

We listen to the Word while sitting in beautiful surroundings.  Eyes and ears.

Touch is so important.  The oils that were blessed all necessitate the human touch.  (That's my dentist, a deacon,  carrying the oil.)  That's part of the Chrism Mass - blessing all of the oil that is used in the diocese in the coming year...it is then presented during the Holy Thursday Mass at each parish later in the evening. 

A faith that we can smell.  Here the Bishop inhales the sweet fragrance of the Chrism after mixing perfume with the oil.

And the incense.  The wonderful smell - symbolizing our prayers rising Heavenward.  I hoped a few times that there were no smoke detectors in the place! 

 Even taste is not left out.  The Lord Jesus, present under the appearance of bread and wine.  Last year, I was amazed when, of all the priests in the Cathedral, I received the Eucharist from my pastor.  I remember thinking that it was a nice, divine touch of personalization.  Today as we left, my friend asked, "Did you just receive Communion from your priest and your dentist?"  What were the odds?  But that's how it worked out.  We were led by an usher to a spot in the backnof church where the Eucharist was being distributed. There was my pastor distributing the Host and my dentist - the deacon - there with the Precious Blood.

The Chrism Mass very much celebrates the Institution of the Priesthood, which also occurred on the First Holy Thursday.  Those who were sent to bring glad tidings to the lowly, heal the brokenhearted (Is 61), to proclaim liberty to captives and bring sight to the blind (Luke 4)  Two of my favorite priests are in the above picture.  The priest second from the left, I met when I was a college freshman.  He was at the Catholic Student Center back in the early 80's.  In the 90's, he was once again my pastor at a different parish and officiated at our wedding.  In the 00's, he was the one I sought out to hear my confession after too long away.  And second from the right, is my current pastor...wise, humble, holy.  They give God a human face in today's world.

I'll leave you with a couple of more pictures...the priests receiving Communion...because I always wondered how that was done...they all approach the altar and "self-communicate"..

And this final one....because it was just beautiful and seemed to encompass so much of the sights and symbolism...

Have a blessed Triduum.

walking with Jesus

At least that's how I was kind of thinking about it, as we entered Holy Week and it just seemed to be one thing after another. 

As I mentioned in the last post, my sister-in-law's mother-in-law passed away quite unexpectedly Saturday night in her sleep.  The funeral was today.

Monday morning, my SIL had met me for Mass, and we had coffee afterwards.  She was awaiting the results of a biopsy she had had the week before.  That evening, she called to tell me that she did, indeed, have breast cancer.  She is the third person that I have known to be diagnosed with cancer since Christmas!  Fortunately the prognosis for all of them is good!  But it is a lot to lose a loved one and find out you have cancer - all within about 36 hours.

Monday during the day, my dear husband called to tell me that he didn't think he was going to be able to get medical clearance to be cleared to drive for his job.  We just bought a new, used truck last week.  He would certainly drive me over the edge if he could not work.  Not to mention the financial short-fall.  Today things look better.  I will continue to pray! 

I attended the annual Tenebrae Service at my church tonight.  It is always nice, but kind of like the proverbial box of chocolates...ya never know quite what you're going to get.  Over the years, there have been some threads that run through all of them... the most obvious is the candles:

I took one lone picture this year.... I describe the Tenebrae Service as "part prayer....part music...part performance."  The Tenebrae comes from an old version of the Liturgy of the Hours, and tonight there were 3 Psalms prayed in parts, as they do in religious communities.  After each psalm, one of the candles was extinguished.  Then there were some chants from Lamentations, and after each, a candle was extinguished.  There was also a musical "response" for each of the chants from our choir.   A reading from Job, and then a homily from our pastor. 

He commented on Lamentations which tell the story of a sinful Israel in much-deserved exile.  He mentioned that instead of crying "Oh Jerusalem return to the Lord your God", we could very well cry "Oh America, return....."  But in order to personalize this, we must realize that we all contribute to the absence of God in our country.  And on another tack, he reiterated that we don't celebrate "history" during the next few days, but "mystery." 

After "Prayers of the Faithful", the lights in the church were turned out, and a loud sound was heard (cymbals).  The Easter Candle was removed, but then returned, and we all departed in silence and darkness.

Tomorrow I am very much looking forward to attending the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral with a friend in the morning, and the Mass of the Lord's Supper at our parish in the evening.  Kind of like a Catholic Double-Header.  

empty tomb

Running a bit behind on this post, but life has been hectic the past few days!

A friend and I stayed after the Good Friday Service and assisted the good Monsignor with decorating.  He likes simple, and it was a matter of carrying in and placing 16 Easter Lilies.  It is fun to watch the wheels turn, as he generally knows what he wants.  We moved things here and there and offered suggestions along the way.  An hour later we were done.  It is divine humor that I do any kind of decorating, because it is not one of my "gifts".

The holder for the Easter Candle...ready and waiting.  Notice the "spiral effect."  The plant to the right is lowest, and then the one to the left, a little higher, etc.  I think we ended up with 4 plants there....unless he moved one after we left...  I only really see three, here.

Empty tabernacle...ready and waiting.  There are six plants there.  Then two near the crucifix.

My boys served for the Easter Vigil. They had practice on Saturday morning.  Our parish is rather informal.  Serving in jeans and sneakers is the norm, and no one bats an eye. For a while, when they were younger, I enforced the "no jeans" statute, but as they grew older and faster, they owned no dress pants or shoes.  My 15 year old has a nice pair of pants and a shirt from 8th grade graduation last year.  I told him that he should wear it to serve in Saturday evening.  And then, had the wild thought to buy my current 8th grader what he would need for graduation (in a month) so that he could also look nice.  Amazingly, we found what we needed.  JCPenneys had ONE pair of pants that fit him.  We bought it, and a shirt from the men's department.  A little big...but he'll grow.  They had NO shoes that fit him, so a quick trip to Pay-Less paid off.

 

I think they are handsome.  I'm not biased or anything!

They served with my niece, who serves at her parish.  We "borrowed" her, because my SIL volunteered her, and because we are not blessed with an abundance of servers at our parish.  Not really blessed with an abundance of youth.   Only seven little ones made their First Communion this year.  And the youth that we do have...no one really volunteers for a Mass that is over an hour and requires practice in the morning.  I think this is the fifth year for my older son.  But the Mass was lovely, and I enjoyed being there with my in-laws!

We didn't have 8 readings.  Only one extra, Father said.  I know there are some who think that they are cheated if they don't have all 8 readings and if the Easter Vigil doesn't last three hours.  But our priest is wise, I think.  As my mother-in-law simply put it, "I didn't need to hear all 8 readings."  Our priest is wise, he is sensitive to the needs of his people, and he has to be up early the next morning for Easter Sunday Mass!  The homily was brief and meaningful (always a good combo!). Don't look for Jesus in the empty tomb.  Because he "ain't" there.  But, if you are alert...if you have faith...if you seek...you will find Him in the Word...in the Scriptures.  You will find Him in the sacraments of the church..."most supremely" in the Eucharist, but also in the others.  You will find Him in the community...in others.  There was an adult baptized, and another who was confirmed along with the young lady who was baptized.  

We had fire, water, smoke (incense). The music was beautiful...especially the Litany of the Saints before the baptism.  All in all, our celebration concluded in 90 minutes.  Beautiful in its simplicity. 

I could go on, detailing celebrations with family...but that will have to wait....

He is Risen!  Definitely a reason to rejoice!

gratitude

Today was a beautiful, sunny day.  Last year (while standing in line for confession, no less) I was told about an outdoor Stations of the Cross that takes place every Good Friday at 10 a.m. on some property not too far from where I live.  I went last year and thought it was nice.  This year, my 14 year old grudgingly joined me.

 

That's my teenager there in the jeans, hanging out with a few guys he knows from school waiting for things to start.  Can't you just see the excitement?

 

Some of the stations.

 And way, way up at the top of some of the pine trees....do you see it??  Crosses!!  My source tells me that some years they are there in abundance!  This year, not so much!

My 15 year old stayed behind, because he planned to serve at the 3:00 Service with his friend.  Then the friend's mom called and told me that he had been in an accident (not serious....pulled /torn muscle type thing), and so with less than 2 hours till crunch time...15 year old was definitely needed.  One of our younger guys showed up and helped him, and both servers did a great job.

Some years, the starkness of the sanctuary startles me on Good Friday.  This year, not really.  It was my third time seeing it, this year.   Everything had been removed on Wednesday before the Tenebrae service.

This service (not Mass!!) starts without a hymn.  Priest and servers enter in silence and kneel (as do we).  It's almost as if it starts where we left off the night before.  Kneeling in silence.  It then progresses somewhat like a regular Mass.  The Passion account from John is read.  There is a homily.  Today's was good.  Good Friday is not a day for sadness or for self-accusation.  It is a day for gratitude and quiet reflection.  It is not a day for revelry.  (Here crawfish boils are very popular on Good Friday.)  Not a time for the "last chance crawfish boil" and acting like pagans.  (Yes, he went there!)  Gratitude is shown by keeping His commandments, self-sacrifice, obedience, choosing to become more like Jesus.  The only way to Heaven...by the cross.  That's the Reader's Digest version.

After the homily, the priest and servers walk to the back of the church.  Then the cross is carried in.  Father carried the cross; the servers carried candles on either side.  At some churches those present venerate the cross by kissing it.  At our church, we venerate by kneeling at our place for a few minutes.  That works just fine for me!  After that, there are prayer intentions for just about every one in the world.  Seriously.  It takes several minutes.

Then the altar servers "dress the altar" (put on the cloth and candles) and a Communion Service follows, using the Eucharist that was consecrated at the Holy Thursday Mass.

There was a song sung to day during Communion.  I can find neither the lyrics or the song, but the refrain was something like, "Lord, make my life an offering to you..."  It was perfect!

 Following Holy Communion, a blessing is prayed over the people, and then all depart in silence.  Still no ending to the liturgy that began on Thursday evening.

do this in remembrance

I had never attended a Holy Thursday Mass until about five years ago.  Also known as the Mass of the Lord's Supper, it is, hands down, my favorite liturgy of the year.  The Chrism Mass celebrated the priesthood - instituted on this day.  This Mass celebrates the institution of the Eucharist.

Our pastor thanked us for attending, and said he didn't understand why crowds are so slim for Holy Thursday.  I can give him a few reasons.  One, it's a work day for most people.  To come home, and switch gears to "Mass Mode" is just difficult.  Can't do much about that.  Secondly, people just don't know.  Ignorance, you can do something about.  I came for the first time because the church secretary sent me an email and invited me to come.

My first year was a disaster learning experience.  My boys were about 9 and 10, so I brought them with me.  At that time our parish shared a pastor with another, and since he couldn't be two places at once, Holy Thursday was at his other parish.  As Mass got underway, I hear, "Mom, something's burning."  Um.. that would be the incense.  Feet were washed, but that sparked the need for someone to utilize the bathroom.  So we missed most of that.  Then there was the procession at the end.  Who knew??  "Mom, I'm hungry....."  So much for Adoration.

The next year, I knew better.  I have gone alone since then.

This Mass is unique...it happens once a year.  The last few years have been a challenge for the Altar Servers.  Some of the things they do have a bit of a different timing.  One year, the altar was set, then cleared off, then set again.  Last night, it was not set when it was time for Father to do his thing.  He had to help, but he just takes things in stride.

The story of the Passover is read, then a reading from 1Corinthians that reiterates the command to "do this in remembrance of me".  Finally the Gospel is the story of the Last Supper.    From emptying of self comes true holiness.  At least that's what the homily said.  The oils from the Chrism Mass are presented with the Gifts and placed in the ambry.

This Mass doesn't end.  There is no dismissal.  No hymn at the conclusion.  After Holy Communion, everyone is asked to kneel.  Father mentions that at the conclusion of the Last Supper, Jesus and the Apostles took a walk...from the Upper Room to the Garden.  Then he slowly processes with the ciborium containing the Body of Christ around the church (a walk).  This is powerful...the first time it happened, I was caught off-guard.  One of those happens-in-your-heart things that is hard to explain.  (In some parishes, the Eucharist is processed to another location...a chapel, perhaps.)

At our parish, at the conclusion of the procession, the Eucharist was placed in the Tabernacle (which had been empty and open until that point), and then Father and the altar servers knelt in front in Adoration.  This is the only time of the year, when we see our priest kneeling.  After a few minutes, Father and the altar servers retreat into the sacristy and people start to leave (quietly).

The church was open until 9 PM.  It was about an hour and a half of adoration time.  (Last year it was about an hour.)  I stayed.  It took me a little while to get focused, but finally, I remembered what Immaculee had said about spending time with Our Lord and His Mother this week.  I realized that maybe it wasn't all about  me tonight.  It was just about spending time...being there.  I had left my 7 Sorrows Rosary in the car, but that is what I ended up praying.  Thanking them for their suffering.  About an hour and 15 minutes in, I was restless, and ready to go.  My back was hurting from sitting in the oh-so-comfortable pews.  But I figured if I had stayed that long, I might as well stay until the end.  There is something about seeing Jesus taken from the Tabernacle and the emptiness that remains.  You can imagine what the apostles felt...those that didn't run away.  That, and I didn't want to walk out to my car alone...there were just a handful of us left.

If you ever have the chance...like next year...make the effort to switch into Mass Mode on Holy Thursday.  So worth it.

And I'll leave you with a song....

catholic sightseeing

Yesterday was a sightseeing adventure of sorts. I don't know when I first heard of the Chrism Mass...probably a few years ago...but since then, I've wanted to attend. Just to "see". It's been one of those "someday" things. This year, I decided "someday" had come. Back in January or February, I asked one of my morning Mass buddies if she would like to accompany me. She agreed, and we scheduled a day off from work.

Our Chrism Mass is held at the Cathedral on the morning of Holy Thursday. I remember when I was a newbie to daily Mass, I was broken-hearted to find no daily Mass on Holy Thursday. The Chrism Mass is attended by most priests of the diocese. That in, and of itself, was powerful. The deacons (I saw my dentist!) and then the priests process in two by two. They take up an entire section of the cathedral from back to front. All ages, races, shapes and sizes - what a variety God calls! The voices raised in prayer and song fill the entire space.

The sacred oils were brought forward by representatives from the community and presented for the Bishop's blessing. The priests renewed their commitment to their call. There was a near-disaster when a tray just-blessed Chrism in small bottles for each parish to take home being carried to the hall next door went sliding. I think only a bottle or two broke.

I have always wondered what priests do during the Eucharistic prayer or during Mass when there are too many priests to fit in the sanctuary. Now I know. They remain standing at their places in the pews and pray parts of the Eucharistic prayer aloud. I wish I could have recorded it as they all chanted, "Through Him, With Him, In Him, In the Unity of the Holy Spirit..." At Communion, they go forward to the altar and "self-communicate" the Body and Blood of Jesus. In our case, they went three at a time, and still everyone in the cathedral had received before the priests were finished.

I didn't see my parish priest as the priests processed in, but during the Eucharistic prayer, I realized that he was in the sanctuary...right up there with the Bishop. When it came time for Holy Communion, an usher led us from the front left side of the cathedral to the back middle aisle. There, in the back of the church, we received Communion. And of all the priests in the place, it was my pastor who was there to offer Him to me. That was a nice divine touch!

I wish I had a few pictures to share. I took my camera in...just in case...but it wasn't really appropriate to take pictures.

My friend and I had lunch and coffee, and then I picked up my young one from school. I missed a "free dress" day and a dance (a sure recipe for chaos) at my school, Darn! My friend and I think we might make this an annual event!

Any ideas for another edition of Catholic Sightseeing?

spy wednesday

Spy Wednesday...the old name for today.  Kind of like the sound of it better than "Wednesday of Holy Week".

I opted out of Mass this morning.  On Tuesdays and Wednesdays I have to drive a good ways through town to Mass, and then back to school, and it is always a rush both ways.  The church near my school does not have Mass on Wednesday mornings, so about half of the time, the thought of unhurried silence wins out.  I can spend a half hour or more there...almost always alone, except for the Holy Presence.

I reflected this morning on the fact that Lent is almost over.  It hasn't been bad.  Last year, I felt so lost, and it's been better than that.  Neither do I feel, "Wow!  What great spiritual growth I made!!"  Another blogger posted that we had five days left to get it together!  Usually, I will give up chocolate or sweets or some such thing for Lent.  But this year, I didn't.  I've felt somewhat left out when prayers speak of fasting or self-denial or hunger.  I know we can fast from other things...procrastination, say....but the idea of food sacrifices and Lent seem to be so closely linked.  Today the thing that I heard was "Take only what you need."  That stayed with me all day.   Eat only what you need to eat...that caramel chocolate egg??  Probably not really a need.

This evening my parish offered a Tenebrae Service.  It is based on the Liturgy of the Hours, Office of Readings.  Each year that I have been, it has been somewhat different.  But always, Psalms are read.  Lamentations are chanted.  Seven candles are present...extinguished one at a time throughout the service.  Always it ends with a loud noise (cymbals this year) and the church in darkness.  This year, one lone burning candle (the Easter candle) remained.  Everyone exits in silence.

This song was one that was featured during the service.  It went quite well with chanted scripture, Latin, and instrumental responses.  Truly, it was a nice variety.




As we left this year, a lady offered me a small cross made out of a palm frond.  I whispered, "thank you".  I have seen her at Mass for years (she attends daily Mass, too, but sits on the other side), and at parish events, but we had never really spoken.  A couple of weeks ago, I realized that I would not be able to serve this past Saturday, since I would be at Immaculee's retreat, and I asked her to take my place.  I thought the cross was rather a neat gesture.

Tomorrow...Thursday...is a day I have looked forward to for months.  For several years I have wanted to attend the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral, but it is always a work day for me.  But months ago, I asked a friend if she wanted to come with me, and then found a sub for the day.  I am so looking forward to going (though I'm stressing a bit about what I have to wear).  I am also serving at Mass at my parish tomorrow evening, and I am very much looking forward to that Mass and the adoration time that follows!

May the peace of Christ find its way to your heart during this Holy Week.

that time of year

Just a quick post to say that I haven't completely dropped off the face of the earth.  Things are very busy right now.  State testing this week at school.  Our final Bible Study of this series last night.  A musical performance of  Touched By the Christ (very touching) at church tonight.  And Immaculee will be in town this weekend, and I will be where she is! 

So I will be back at some point...probably with lots to ramble about.

Next week will be more of the same, in some ways.  Wednesday night is a Tenebrae service at our parish.  I am taking the day off on Thursday with plans to attend the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral with one of my "church lady" friends.  It's something I've wanted to do for the past few years....so why not?!  Thursday night is Mass at my parish with Adoration following.  Absolutely my most favorite Mass of the entire liturgical year.  Friday offers outdoor Stations of the Cross in the morning, which I will probably drag strongly encourage my children to attend.  I will attend the Passion service at our parish in the afternoon.  And Saturday is the Easter Vigil.  My boys are serving, which means practice in the morning with our dear pastor.  And either Friday evening or Saturday morning, my friend and I (the newly designated decorating committee) will be helping our pastor with decorations.

That's my story for now!  And I'm sticking with it!

the gospel according to...

It has been a long day!

Our first "appointment" of the day was to meet the Good Monsignor at church at 10:00 for a practice for the Vigil Mass tonight.  Neither of our other servers showed up, but Father said he could work things with 2, so we went with that.

After that, we went shopping.  A few weeks ago, when my child had detention, he saw a set of "Resurrection Eggs" when he was cleaning one of the classrooms.  This sparked his memory and took him back to third grade.  Apparently it made an impression on him, because he determined that I needed to get it for my 2-year old Godchild.

While we were at the Catholic bookstore, we looked at the books on the clearance table.  On the end, was a Lectionary and a Book of the Gospels.  He is now the proud owner of The Book of Gospels - an $80 value that he was thrilled to get for $17 (and he offered to pay for it!)  He is a collector of sorts, but he was drawn to this.  Others have told me that they can picture him as a priest, and I see that sometimes, too.  I do my best not to push, but to keep it out there as a possible option.  So today, I said, "No chance of being a priest?"  And he says, "Don't talk about that, Mom. Not now.  God might get ideas."  I assured him that if God had ideas, He had them from the time dear son was created.  That God created him for a purpose - that he would need to discover.

A little while later, he says, "You know what my favorite Gospel is?"  Uhhh, I'm not even sure if I know what MY favorite gospel is.  "It's the one about the weeds and the wheat.  Because I get it!"  So even when you think they're not paying any attention at all, maybe they are!

Our evening and nighttime were taken up by the Easter Vigil.  And another server did show up.  We had to be there at 7:30, and it was not over until after 9:30.  Beautiful, but long.  More on that tomorrow!

passion

For many years, I would listen to the reading to the Lord's Passion on Palm Sunday and Good Friday and wonder why Jesus didn't just say something.  It was as if everything that could go wrong, did.  One bad thing after another.  But recently I've come to understand that it just wasn't a very bad day for Jesus; this was something He had to do and something He did willingly.  For me.

Today was a beautiful day weather-wise.  I went early this morning to work out.  Hadn't been on my original plans, but a friend had said she'd be there at 9.  So, I was there, and she wasn't.  But the work-out didn't hurt.  I took clothes with me, and changed into something presentable to attend an outdoor version of the Stations of the Cross at 10.  There were several hundred people there.  It was very mellow.  We were given handouts as we walked up.  A priest (in a black chasuble) led the stations.  We prayed for those in purgatory and were urged to recall those in our families who had died and to join their death with that of Jesus.  The wind was blowing and at times was quite loud above in the pine trees.  The devotion took about 30 minutes and was very peaceful.

Our parish had a service at 3:00.  There was no compelling reason for me NOT to go, so I went.  No work today.  No small children to care for. 

I was struck by the barrenness when I walked in.  The holy water fonts - gone (or dry).  The altar decor - gone.  The tabernacle - open and empty.   No candles.  No plants.  Even the overhead lighting in the sanctuary was dim.  Bare. 

The entrance processional was done in silence.  Father and the altar servers knelt at the edge of the sanctuary and we knelt with them.  The readings were proclaimed and the Passion was read.  :Father returned to his chair and gave the homily seated.  He had three points:  We don't have to be free from pain and sorrow to be triumphant.  Our power comes from love.   We don't have to have all the answers, but we do need to have faith and trust.  We do need to be triumphant over sin and evil.  We do need to be powerful, and that comes from love.  And we do need to have wisdom, and that comes from trusting in the Lord and being faithful to Him.

We prayed for everyone in the entire world during the intercessions.  The altar was prepared.  The Eucharist that was consecrated last night was retrieved from the sacristy.   Communion was distributed.  We were blessed and dismissed. 

And now I am home.  Dear hubby, I think, has plans to show The Passion of the Christ tonight.  I have never seen it, and I'm not sure I want to.  He would have shown it to the kids years ago, but I voted against it.  At 13 and 14, though, they are probably old enough to see it.  

supper with the Lord

The official name for the Holy Thursday Mass is "Mass of the Lord's Supper". Supper just sounds so common. Couldn't it be the "Mass of the Lord's Abundant Feast" or something that really sounds impressive? But then "supper" sounds so much more approachable and down-to-earth.

I think this is my favorite liturgical celebration of the Three Days that make up the Triduum(Thursday, Friday, and Saturday) marking the transition from Lent to Easter.

My kids weren't interested in attending, and truth be told, I wasn't all that interested in taking them. Just so you don't think I'm a slacker parent, I have taken them. Note the past tense. Three years ago, our first Holy Thursday experience was a mom and kids event. I remember, "mom, it smells like something's burning". Ummmm that would be the incense. "Mom I need to go to the bathroom, BAAAAAD." That was during the washing of the feet. Guess it was the power of suggestion of the water. "Mom, I'm staaaaarving." That was as we waited in line for our turn for adoration. We left.

The next year, I went to Mass alone, but did go home and pick them up to spend about 15 minutes or so at Adoration. That was a better experience.

One of the things that makes this celebration my favorite (quite possibly my favorite in the entire year) is that it is followed by adoration. There were only a handful of people that stayed more than a few minutes, but it is such a wonderful, peaceful time to sit in the Lord's Presence and have a conversation with Him.

The scripture verse that caught my attention was from John's Gospel: "Jesus answered and said to him, "What I am doing, you do not understand now, but you will understand later." That pretty much sums up my whole lent in a nutshell. Not only do I not understand, I don't have a clue what the Lord is doing in my life right now. But I don't have to understand. All I have to do is have faith and trust, which is there for the asking with God.