today's faves

Inspiration for this post goes to Meg at Held By His Pierced Hands.  Her blog should really be in my sidebar....I just haven't updated recently.  I love, love, love her writing and thoughts.  In a recent post, she shared some of her favorites after someone had asked what her favorite parable was.

And since I seem to lack for ideas of my own lately, here goes.....

Favorite Parable:  The Prodigal Son (Luke 15:  11-32)  I think it is the story of most of us.  I also remember reading it during our First Confession Ceremony/Celebration/Liturgy all those years ago in third grade.

Favorite Image of Jesus:  The Good Shepherd  The fact that He leaves the 99 and goes off in search of the one lost sheep.  So, not only does He welcome us back when we come to our senses, but He goes out, searches for us, and carries us back.  See Matthew 18:12-13.

Favorite Bible Verse:  I'm pretty sure that can't be narrowed down to just one.  Tops on the list:  Be still and know that I am God.  (Psalm 46:10)  Draw close to God and He will draw close to you. (James 4:8)  Lord, I believe; help my unbelief.  (Mark 9:24).

Favorite Bible Study: Anything by Jeff Cavins and the folks at the Great Adventure.  I have studied James, the Bible Timeline, Revelations, Acts, and Matthew (twice).  Again it is difficult to pick a favorite, but James was short and had a great deal of practical application.

Favorite Liturgy:  This is an easy one....Holy Thursday...the Mass of the Lord's Supper.  It is beautiful.   It begins with an open, empty Tabernacle.  Even without the customary washing of the feet - an option that our pastor chooses not to exercise - there is so much symbolism and richness.  It is a Mass that doesn't end...at least not right then.  It concludes with Adoration, at the end of which the priest removes the Blessed Sacrament from the Tabernacle, leaving it empty as it was at the beginning of Mass.   A bonus on Holy Thursday is the Chrism Mass, which is held early in the day at the Cathedral.  Simply beautiful.

Favorite Prayer:  This would have to be the Prayer of St. Francis...Lord make me an instrument of your peace.  Where there is hatred..... I don't know why it's my favorite.  I'm pretty sure I don't know it by heart in its entirety,  nor do I pray it regularly.  Maybe it's the structure, the poetic nature, or just the simplicity, and the image of what we should all be.

Favorite Sacrament:  Of course, the Eucharist is the hands down (or hands-out) winner.  What is not to love?  Our God making Himself present to us - condescending to us - to be consumed in order that He can consume us.  But a really close second would have to be Reconciliation/Confession/Penance.  It is that one-on-one with Jesus.  That combination of nervousness and anticipation.  The grace, the encouragement, the warmth, the fresh start.  It is so worth it.  Every single time.


Favorite Penance:  I have had many that are thought-provoking and/or helpful, and my current priest never assigns the "say 3 Hail Marys" variety.  My favorite, though, "Go and bask in the silence and let Jesus speak to you."

Favorite Catholic Musician:  That would be Matt Maher.  Love, love, love.  And my favorite of his songs, "Deliver Me."  Loosely based on the Litany of Humility.

Favorite Catholic Devotionals:  This awesome series.  There is something for each day of the year that  matches up with the Scripture readings for the day.  Things that make you think, but presented so that normal people can understand.  In Conversation With God.  I got most of my copies from eBay.

Favorite "Catholic" thing to do:  Adoration.  This is the best thing ever.  Whether the Blessed Sacrament is exposed in a monstrance or simply present in the Tabernacle of whatever random Catholic Church you find yourself at.  What do you do when you go?  You can just sit in the Presence.  You can kneel.  You can kneel then sit.  You can pray prayers you know.  You can just sit and gaze.  You can tell God everything that is on your mind.  You can sit and listen to God whisper in your ear.  You can read.  You can write (one of my favorite things to do).  You can ask for forgiveness.  You can ask for wisdom.  You can ask for help.  You can surrender. You can praise Him.  You can thank Him.  You can do all of the above.  It is amazing the answers that come.  The peace that comes.  Amazing.

Favorite Lenten Practice:  The best Lenten "penance" ever was daily Mass.  I started part way through Lent one year, and committed to 3 days a week (because our parish had Mass at 6:30 am 3 days a week and I could go and make it to work at the required 7:05).  This was absolutely the best thing ever.  I was hooked long before Lent was over and felt like someone had been keeping this little treasure a secret.  It's not a penance.  It's a gift.  And it's certainly not just for Lent.

And that, boys and girls, are my favorites for now.  I'm sure there are more that I could add....and maybe I will....

little choices

It's kind of a slow news day (or month) when I pull out homilies to blog about.  I try to avoid doing it too often, because it's sometimes difficult to get the whole idea across second hand.  Often it is a "ya had to be there" kind of thing.  

The First Reading on Friday morning was the story of the beginning of King David's downfall.  It begins:  

At the turn of the year, when kings go out on campaign, David sent out Joab along with his officers and the army of Israel... David, however, remained in Jerusalem.   

The account continues with David waking up one evening from his nap (Yawn!) and going to stroll on his roof, where he happened to see the lovely Bathsheba - doing what else but bathing?  So...he sends his servants to fetch her, and you can imagine what happens from there.  But as if that wasn't bad enough, she sends word that she is "with child".  David goes into damage control mode here, and brings Bathsheba's husband home, thinking that they might like a little "couple time".  But Uriah, being the man he is, does not give in to the temptation.  So...David sends him back to the war with a letter to give to the commanding officer to place Uriah on the front line and then to pull back and leave him there so that he will be killed. 

The good Father pointed out that David's first bad choice/mistake was remaining at home when the rest of the guys went off to war.  David was complacent.  Things were going well, and he let his guard down.

How often we do the same...we are complacent, and we make that first little bad choice...to eat xyz food, or to skip xyz part of our daily prayer.... to make some unkind remark about someone...

He pointed out that both sin and virtue work this way.  They start with small choices that add up to great things.  Just as we can make small bad choices, we can also make small good choices - sacrifices, helping someone, fasting, praying - that God can do great things with.

Look at the choices David made:

• he stayed home, when Kings went on  campaign
• he went for an evening stroll on the roof
• he let his eyes wander to things he shouldn't have
• he sent his servants to get the young lady
• he had relations with her
• he tried to cover his tracks by calling her husband home
• he sent him back to the front carrying his own order of execution

Lust, greed, murder, all in one Bible Reading!  Small things turning into big things.

Lord, deliver us from growing complacent.  Help us to seek you in all the small choices we make in our living and our loving.   ~ Amen.

spoiler alert

It's been a reasonably calm relaxing weekend so far.

Tropical Storm Lee is pouring forth much rain upon us. 

I have discovered that there is a low spot in my driveway.  Right at the entrance to the garage.  And the water comes into the garage.  And you need boots to get to the vehicles parked in the driveway. 

I turned off the auto-fill on the pool.  Just in case we got the 20 inches of rain that were forecast.  I don't think we're any where close to 20 inches (at least not yet), but the pool is filled up almost to the tippy-top.

I had 4 teenage boys in my house last night.  Better than 4 teenage girls, I think.  They swam in the rain.  They beat each other like maniacs with foam "noodles".  They left 4 wet swimsuits.  They ate, and played XBox and debated the merits of various musical groups and bands.  I think I need to start a Lost and Found.  Because each week, I seem to have another pair of unfamiliar underwear and a swimsuit in my laundry.

I met my stepson's mother at my old house today.  She is going to rent it from us.  It's kind of an unusual situation.  This could never have happend 20 years ago.  There was much "drama" and ill will in the relationship with lawyers and custody issues.  But time and God's grace have a way of healing things.  Grandchildren don't hurt the situation, either.  The house is not in pristine condition, (and not likely to get that way), but she is genuinely excited to be moving in, and I am glad for that.  You won't find it in Better Homes, but there were a lot of good memories there.

We went to 4:00 Mass this afternoon.  My boys had to serve.  Before Mass, I flipped through the missalette to read the readings.  It is good if you've read them ahead of time, I think.  You can listen better.  But before I got to this weeks, I stopped at next week's.

That's where the Spoiler Alert comes in.  I was amazed at the appropriateness of the readings for September 11, 2011.  Even moreso because they weren't chosen special for this anniversary.  My pastor likes to say that there are no coincidences in God.  Would you like a taste? 

The first sentence that God speaks to us next week: 

Wrath and anger are hateful things, yet the sinner hugs them tight.

More?  

Forgive your neighbor's injustice...

The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.

He....redeems your life from destruction...

how often must I forgive?

So will my heavenly Father do to you, unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.

Appropriate?  Impossible?  Another chance for God to show his healing power?  This week, we prayed together, as part of the homily, the prayer of St. Francis (because where 2 or 3 are gathered in my name...)

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace...

of wheat and weeds and pearls of great price

Yeah, one of those homily posts!

The story of the wheat and the weeds was the Gospel reading for this past Sunday, as well as yesterday - Saturday. My oldest child proclaimed this as his "favorite Gospel" a couple of years ago, because he "gets it". So it was kind of cool (at least in a nerdy, Catholic mom sense) that last Sunday was his birthday and he got to hear his favorite Gospel.

He didn't think it was so cool, but we got to hear it TWICE! I (we) all had to serve at 8:30 Mass, so that was one chance to hear, and then the opening Mass of RISE on Sunday evening was another chance to hear. Two Masses in one day! Perish the thought!

Our priest really didn't address the wheat and weeds part of the Gospel. He focused more on the second reading and the Spirit making up what we lack in our imperfect prayer. He noted that prayer - inasmuch as the Spirit makes up for what we lack - is really God talking to God. He said that humility is the foundation of all prayer. And that prayer is not so much about what we do and say to God, but what God does within us. Our prayer is always imperfect - because we are imperfect. But God, in His great love, takes what we offer Him, perfects it, and gives it right back to us. Things that you can take with you and meditate upon later.

The opening Mass focused more upon the "whoever has ears OUGHT to hear" part of the Gospel. The homily - fitting for the opening night of a weeklong retreat for teens - was about having open eyes to see, open ears to hear, and open hearts to receive.

The Saturday closing Mass was the same Gospel as the opening Mass - in shorter form. The priest giving the homily for that one, said how nice it might be if Jesus had used Rice, instead of wheat, for the parable. That way, you could have "R" and "W" instead of 2 "W's", and you could stamp the "good" people with "R" and the "bad" people with "W" and it would make it all so much simpler.

Then he asked them to consider that the field was really their heart...and in that field there was wheat growing - the kindness and generousity and selflessness. But that there were also weeds growing...selfishness, doubt, fear, pride. What we are called to do, then, is to "feed the wheat and trample the weeds". We do this by staying close to Jesus in his Word and in His Sacraments, when we speak the truth in the face of opposition, when we defend those who cannot defend themselves, when we pray.

Today was the beautiful reading about the "pearl of great price". I'll bet everyone reading this has interpretted that passage, by placing themselves in the role of the merchant who seeks after the "pearl of great price" (Jesus). How about turning that around, he suggested. And to let us know that he hadn't totally lost his mind, he read an excerpt from JPII about "God seeking after man".

How about, if Jesus is the merchant, and WE are the pearl of great price? He looks for us, He seeks us, and He gives e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g for us. As He looks for us, he doesn't find beautiful gems. No, he finds rocks - rough around the edges. But He is able to see the beauty we can become with a little polishing and cutting. The cutting and polishing involves pain, and we have to surrender to that. But, he calls us to be conformed to the image of His Son, justified, glorified. (2nd reading).

come to me

This past week, I was able to spend more time than usual in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament.  Awesome, awesome.  While I was there, I realized that the time I had been able to spend with Him during the school year wasn't just some nice little lagniappe from God, but a necessity, and that I wasn't going to be able to skate through this summer solely on those good graces. 

But at the same time, I wondered...why?  I know the answer to that, intellectually.  Because it's about relationship.  Can't have a relationship with someone you don't spend time with.  But I look around at the rest of the world.  No one else seems to need to spend that much time with the Lord .  Or maybe better stated, it is rare to find someone who is not a priest or sister who visits regularly often with the Blessed Sacrament.  And they seem to get along just fine.  Sort of.

This afternoon I popped in to the confessional.  One motivating factor is that I will be boarding a plane next Friday.  Call me superstitious if you want, but I like to have things "right" before I go flying off into the wild blue yonder.  Anyway, one of the "things" was the lack of personal prayer this summer.  I had hoped for some encouragement/feedback on that, so I elaborated slightly.  But, no.  No feedback today.  My penance, though, was to sit with this weekend's Gospel and "take it apart...let God speak". I left the confessional without a clue about what this weekend's Gospel was.  (Sometimes when he gives a similar penance, he will elaborate a little.)

What would this weekend's Gospel be?  It was from Matthew 11...Jesus saying, "Come to me...learn from me....and I will give you rest."

Could that have been any more perfect?  I think it is so cool how the Spirit works through my good priest.  Sometimes he answers my questions so simply and easily, that I am left wondering why I didn't think of that.  Sometimes he says just the right thing to answer a question that I haven't even asked.  And today, he didn't answer at all, but left it for God to answer Himself.  

Come to me...

worth it

From childhood, Palm Sunday meant having to stand up for a l.o.n.g time for the Gospel reading in shoes that pinched my feet.  That and having to listen to the retelling of the Passion, which was just oh-so-depressing.  I really didn't get it at all, did I?

Then when I kind of started to "get it", in my young adult days, it was more of as if Jesus was just having one of those days when everything went wrong.  I mean, why did He answer them in riddles?  Why didn't He just explain things so they could understand it?

Gradually, I understand more and more.  That Jesus was fulfilling the purpose for which He came...to save us.  That He obediently endured a painful and horrible death, in order that we might see the depths of His love.  That those who were questioning Him were never going to understand...didn't want to understand. 

Old testament scriptures - including today's from Isaiah - pointed to the kind of death that the Suffering Servant was to suffer.  Jesus, himself, knew.  And gradually, events in the Gospels lead to this Holy Week.  Last week we saw Jesus meeting  the ultimate enemy, death, head-on (with his friend, Lazarus) and winning.

Today's second reading says that "Christ emptied himself."  It's a good description of the Passion.  He allows us a share in His sufferings, even thought nothing was lacking in His.

And still my priest asked, "Why?"  He says he generally avoids asking the "why" question (because the answer is often "why not"...'tis better to ask "what, Lord? [do you want be to be/know/do]).  But he asked the Lord, "why?" in his meditations this week.  And the 4-word answer was, "You Are Worth It!" 

Even though we will truly never "get" the sufferings that He endured (or the joy in loving us that much), He would have suffered and died for us, if we were the only person in the world.

And that leads us to the question...Is He worth it?  Is He worth learning about, spending time with, emptying ourselves for?

more important

The week ahead is sure to be a difficult one.  I have not one, not two, but three IEP meetings.  IEPs are yearly educational plans developed for special education students.  Considering that I only have about 10 students on my caseload, what are the odds that I would have three meetings in one week?  But here we have it.

One of the students is transferring from another city and has some diagnosed emotional problems.  That he will probably remain on our campus among the general population is causing me great stress.  Because our school system only RE-acts,  they can not do anything proactive, because that might violate his rights.  Someone must get hurt first.  Who will it be?  Student or staff?

Another threatened harm to the school.  He was also relatively new.  No behavior plan was in place.  I will be blamed for that, and he will probably return to school.

And then there are two other fairly routine meetings.

No doubt it will be a difficult week, with very little teaching.  I still feel guilty when I don't teach my students.  But paperwork must not be denied!

Tonight I went to Mass, praying for some inspiration.   I found it in spades.

Can a mother forget her infant, 

be without tenderness for the child of her womb?

Even should she forget, I will never forget you.

(Isaiah 49: 14-15)

Only in God be at rest, my soul, for from him comes my hope.

He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold;

I shall not be disturbed.

With God is my safety and my glory, 

he is the rock of my strength; my refuge is in God.

Trust in him at all times, O my people!  

Pour out your hearts before him.

(Psalm 62: 6-9)

It does not concern me in the least that I be judged by you or any human tribunal...

(1Corinthians 4:1-5)

The word of God is living and effective; discerning reflections and thoughts of the heart.

(Hebrews 4:12)

...Look at the birds in the sky....Are you not more important than they?

Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your life-span?

....Learn from the way the wild flowers grow....

will he not much more provide for you...

Do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take care of itself.
(Matthew 6:24-34)

The homily was about trust.  Good, but no earth-shattering revelations.  The scripture was rich, however.

The temptation to alter my morning routine and skip my few minutes before the Blessed Sacrament in order to get to school earlier and get a jump on the paperwork - rejected.  No, that time is when my soul is at rest, when I can pour out my heart before him.

That I will be blamed and berated for the lack of a behavior plan...I will try not to let it concern me.  Suffering happens.  Suck it up...offer it up.

God will not forsake me.  He is always with me, and he will be with me in the paperwork and the meetings and the unfairness of the coming week.  He will be my rock.  And I will trust.

But, if you get a chance, please offer a prayer for me.  That all the work gets done.  That decisions are made in the best interest of all parties.  That sanity and reason prevail.

His way

Today was much better than yesterday! 

I had sent an email to a dear friend/co-worker last night updating her about my assistant's condition and whining about other assorted things that are going on in our workplace.  She replied to me this morning with an email featuring these pictures.  She said it was the very next email she had opened after reading mine. 



We complain about the cross we bear, but we don't realize that it is preparing us for the dip in the road that God can see and we can't.  I had seen this before, but it was SO what I needed to see today!

After I dropped of my younger child, I had a choice to make.  There was a Mass across town at 7:30, but I was probably going to be about 5 minutes late.  (Which wouldn't be a huge issue, because it is in a bad traffic area and people get there when they get there.)  Or, I could go to the church down the road from my school and just sit in the quiet presence of Jesus.  Much as I love Mass, I took the second option.

There is a devotional book entitled "God Calling" that I started using for reflection this summer.  Today's entry could not have been more perfect.  Here are some excerpts: 

And seeking you shall find.  None ever sought My Presence in vain.  None ever sought my help in vain. 

...Sometimes weariness and exhaustion are not signs of lack of spirit but of the guiding of the Spirit. 

Many wonderful things would not have happened but for physical weariness, the mind-weariness of My servants, which made the resting apart, the giving up of works, a necessity....

Though My Way may seem a narrow way it yet leads to Life....Follow it.  It is not so narrow but that I can tread it beside you...

I have been nothing if not weary and exhausted the past few weeks.  I mentioned that last night.

Then I pulled out Shorter Christian Prayer which contains Morning and Evening Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours.  I flipped to today's.  The Psalms were alright.  Psalm 36 was about sinners and God's goodness.  The Canticle from Judith 16 concluded with,  But to those who fear you, you are very merciful.  Lord, please be merciful to me.  I'm trying...

Then I got to the reading from Tobit 4.  It ended with:  At all times bless the Lord God, and ask him to make all your paths straight and to grant success to all your endeavors and plans.  Given the title of this blog, I really felt like that was directed right at me.  Telling me to trust the Lord in all things, rather than asking Him to lighten my cross.  And so that is my focus right now!

I left with the message that God does, indeed, hear me and that He also "has my back." 

School is school.  Good, bad, crazy.  Again, nothing got crossed off of my "To Do" list, but things got added to the bottom of it.  My assistant did take the day off and says she has a black eye along with a bump on her head.  Her sub was a lady who has subbed in my room before, and whom we all love.  My awesome assistant says she will be back tomorrow.  I'm impressed!  The weather was cooler, and that was a lift.  My students are really good this year.   I emailed my now-former supervisors with some things that I needed their help with, but they both just passed the ball to someone else (my new supervisor and another staff person).  It was the feeling of being put out to sea in a boat in a hurricane with just one paddle. 

But with all of the stuff on my plate, I know that He will give me the grace to get through and to do things "His Way". 

Amen?

jeremiah - not just a bullfrog

Last week, I had a post about how Jeremiah (the prophet, not the bullfrog) keeps popping up in my life.  So this week, I've been trying to take in some of his wisdom.

I started with Chapter 1 and there were a few gems there:

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you; before you were born I dedicated you.... Jer 1:5

Have no fear before them, because I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.  Jer 1:8

They will fight you, but not prevail over you, for I am with you to deliver you, says the LORD.  Jer 1:19

It is a fairly lengthy book - 52 Chapters, so I've been trying to read a little each night - just enough to savor.  Last night I started flipping through, and I came across this passage. 

You have to know that I've done a few Bible Studies, but sadly, I am not a frequent reader unless I'm working on homework for a Bible Study, and my Bible is not all marked up and highlighted.  It doesn't have that comfort level yet.  But THIS passage in Chapter 29 was highlighted.  As we went through our Bible Study, I highlighted a few that I really liked.  Apparently, this made the Top 10. 

Can you read it?  What a powerful promise that is!  If we believed it, would we ever need to worry?

Thus says the Lord....

For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, says the LORD,

plans for your welfare, not for your woe!

plans to give you a future full of hope. 

When you call to me, when you go to pray to me, I will listen to you.

When you look for me, you will find me.

Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the LORD,

and I will change your lot....

 

whoever has ears

My blog friend, Mary, commented that God has been having some incredible conversations with me lately, and I have to agree with her. I think that these conversations are happening somewhat because I have time to listen and process.  The pace of life is slower right now, and I have time to actually have a complete thought, to reflect, to recognize God's fingerprints and hear His whisperings.  In a way, it's like having the radio tuned in to the right frequency.

Twice in the past week, the Gospel reading has ended with, "Whoever has ears ought to hear."  I thought maybe that should apply to our elected representatives in Washington , but then again, maybe we won't go there right now....  More than hearing, it's about listening.

A week from today, I return to the dungeon.  I am going kicking and screaming.  Mentally, anyway.

The readings from today spoke to me, and it wasn't necessarily a whisper.  ..."Thus the LORD answered me:  If you repent, so that I restore you, in my presence you shall stand..."  OK - confession is on the agenda for this weekend...the list is ready to go....that pesky lack of trust is on there..."Though they fight against you, they shall not prevail, For I am with you, to deliver and rescue you, says the LORD...."   So we will get through it. God doesn't lie.

I thought it was interesting that the readings the past few weeks have been from Jeremiah.  When I was visiting my friend at the monastery last week (was it just last week??), I sat down in the chair with the Bible, and it opened to a card with Bible verses in MY handwriting.  Last year, when I was there, I had been working on homework for a Bible Study, and I had copied a few verses that I liked.  Guess where they were from??  Jeremiah.

A little while ago, I opened one of those emails that gets forwarded to everyone on some people's email list.  You know the ones - forward this if you're not ashamed of Jesus, yada, yada - (I never do.)  This was a powerpoint,  (nicely done), but on one slide, I just had to stop and stare for a minute.  It said, "The Lord said, 'I will bless the person who puts his trust in me.'"  Bet you can't guess where that is found in the Bible?  Give up?  Yep, Jeremiah.  (17:7)

Edited to add:  After I posted this last night, I popped over to Mary's blog to read, and I noticed that among the blogs she follows - right above mine - was one named...... are you ready for this..... Jeremiah 29:11.  

I think Jeremiah and I need to get reacquainted.  He just might have something to say.  Maybe.

the better part

I am spending a few days with a friend who is a cloistered nun, and it has been absolutely wonderful! We have been friends since high school - over 30 years! (That means we're getting old.) I would love to make it a yearly trip.  (Hopefully she wouldn't mind if that happened.  I know I'm somewhat of a distraction to the life here.)  We are able to connect a few hours each day at different times, but the rest of the time I am on my own.  I can hang out in my [air conditioned] room, walk around the grounds (too hot), spend time in the chapel [with the broken A/C].  So it has been a good mix of girlfriend time, God time, and me time. 

Last year I spent a lot of my time here getting acquainted with the finer points of Facebook, but I have tried to guard against letting the computer suck up large blocks of time this year.  I can tag pictures when I get home.  I can't just walk out my door into a chapel and stay for 30 minutes or an hour when I get home.

But this is where I spent a nice chunk of yesterday afternoon. I was "resting in the Lord".  It was quite relaxing.  Very comfortable.  (Yeah, I know the interior decorating didn't just hop off of a page of  [insert name of interior decorating magazine here], but you have to consider the source.

Today I spent some time in the chapel, too.  It is beautiful.  It is quiet.

 

See my buddy, St. Tony, here?  Aren't the flowers at his feet beautiful?  See that fan?  That could be my next new best friend.  I had the perfect spot in the second row where I could get a bit of a breeze now and then.  But when I dropped by this afternoon, the carpet square on which it sits had been slightly moved [gasp] and there was no more breeze.  I didn't feel like it was proper to go messing with someone else's fan.  But wait until I'm by myself in there tomorrow...  There was a lot of penance done in that chapel today, if the people were so inclined.  It really was cooler outside.

It's Sunday (in case you missed it), so there was Sunday Mass with a few more people than what shows up for weekday Mass.  The chaplain here is a gem.  He kind of shuffles in (my friend says he's about 80) and you think, "Hmmm... wonder what this is going to be like..."  But his homilies are relevant, memorable, engaging, thoughtful.  The first reading today was from Genesis where Abraham welcomed some visitors and was very hospitable to them.  He says that prayer is like that.  We are present to God (as was Abraham) and God is present to us.  It isn't about us doing all of the talking.  Sometimes it's just about being present.  

Martha and Mary were the gospel characters.  I really enjoy hearing Bible stories with women as the central characters.  Easier to relate to, maybe.  It made me think that we really play both roles.  My family is fine with me playing the Martha role - making sure there are clean clothes and dishes, and something to eat (I won't claim to do most of the cooking), just being there if they need something.  But more and more, I would like to be Mary - sitting at the feet of Jesus, learning, listening, being.  But that makes them uneasy for some reason.  But both my friend and my confessor have told me that it is OK to spend time as "Mary".  No need to feel guilty for not helping or being Martha.  And today's Gospel tells us that Mary has chosen the better part. 

When I genuflected to leave the chapel, this was my view.  

Last year, I sat on the aisle, so I had a better view from the pew.  But this year the fan is my friend.  (although if I stretched out on that tile floor, it might be cool...)  Here's a close-up.  It really is a beautiful little garden behind the altar.  Last year my prayer time was shared by a cardinal who would repeatedly fly into the glass.  Looking for weakest link, I think.  The sisters named him Butch.  I'm sure he's gone on to his final reward.  Or found another glass to hurl himself into.

I don't think I've had any startling spiritual revelations today, and that is just fine, really.  It was about being present and enjoying the better part. 

comfort zones

I'm wiping out the original entry and starting over....trying to see if I can get the formatting right. 

Yesterday, I was sitting in the chapel during Evening Prayer.  It was the Feast of Our Lady of Mt. Carmel.  Maybe that plays a role in the story, maybe not.  As I was sitting there, I was profoundly aware that Jesus had given me a gift during the retreat I went on a month ago, and that the gift was His Mother.  I don't know why it took me so long to figure that out.  Maybe it was obvious to everyone but me, but Jesus gave me His Mom.  I know that He gave her to all of us as His last act before He drew His final breath, but I haven't been willing/able to open myself to that gift.  I didn't think I needed it.  An awesome gift, isn't it?

I saw this on Immaculee's Facebook page a week or so ago.  (Yeah, this is gonna be one of those ADD posts that goes everywhere - or nowhere. 

I realize that God never shows us something we aren't ready to understand.  He lets us see what we need to see, when we need to see it.  He'll wait until our eyes and hearts are open to Him, and then when we're ready, He will plant our feet on the path that's best for us....but it's up to us to do the walking.

Right now I can sense that I am in a pretty good spot.  I know I'm on the path and the walking is pretty easy.  It's nice to have times like this, because sometimes the path seems to be all uphill in the snow.  Barefoot.

I didn't make it to the chapel much today.  Morning Prayer, Mass, and Evening Prayer.  It seems hottest for Mass at 7:15.  I visited a good bit with my friend, and we talked about (among many other things) how God continually calls us out of our comfort zone and invites us - key word - INVITES - to draw closer to Him.

For me, the most obvious example of being drawn out of my comfort zone has been my experience with the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  At some point, I had to admit that once every ten years wasn't cutting it.   God was inviting me to Him more often, and I finally accepted.  So it became once every year or two during the Advent Penance service.  Safety in numbers there, you know.  Lent would come along a few months later, but I had *just* been, so we'd skip that one. 

Then one of my offspring asked why we only went once a year.  God was inviting us to come to Him more often with our faults and failures and struggles.  So we began to visit him every three months or so during that Saturday afternoon confession time.  That was a big stretch out of my comfort zone!  I didn't know how the lights on the confessional worked (did you know that one red light means GO?  and two red lights mean STOP?) and I just KNEW everyone was looking at us.  The Sinner Family. 

Then He invited me to stop in more often - without the kids sometimes.  He told me that I could come before morning Mass at 6:15 a.m.  Another little step out of the familiar.  How can anyone confess at that hour??  But I did , and it has been a grace.

Once again, I am being drawn out of my comfort zone by an invitation of Jesus - down another path. 

But I digress.  This afternoon, I felt God inviting me to take a nap, and that was right in my comfort zone, and so I did!

Yesterday, I mentioned about words jumping out at me.  Today it happened almost literally.

I was sitting in the recliner to pray the Rosary.  I am still pretty new to the whole Rosary thing.  I said it as a kid with the lady across the street, but that was a lot of years ago (and mostly so we could get the cookies and kool-aid that we got when we were finished).  I had a Rosary booklet that I had brought with me, but after looking everywhere I could not find it.  So I settled down with a different book that had scriptural references for the mysteries.  Looking for anything to help with the meditative part of the rosary, I pulled a Bible off the shelf to look up the scriptural references.

The Bible fell open to a card with Bible verses written in my handwriting!  Still there from my visit over a year ago.  This is what "jumped" out at me today:

I will place my law within them, and write it upon their hearts; I will be their God, and they shall be my people.  I will forgive their evildoing and remember their sin no more.  ~Jer 31:33-34

I was working on homework for a Bible Study class last time I was here, and I found (and still find) ...I will be their God, and they shall be my people.... such a comforting image and promise.  He is our God.  Are we His people?  Are we willing to follow Him on the path that He places us on?  Even when it leads out of our comfort zone?

random thoughts

Random things all in one post.

For where your treasure is, there also will your heart be. 

I have that verse on the wall in my classroom (among others).  Not in plain view, of course.  Someone might be offended.  But where I can see it.  That was part of today's gospel.  We would do well to examine our motives for doing things, Father said.  They either come from love or from selfishness.   As a final thought, Father added that what you do in secret - when no one else is around - is a good indicator of where your treasure is.

My oldest child came with me to Mass this morning.  I think we were the youngest two people in the church.  Seriously.   And I am not young.

Leaving with my sister-in-law to go on a retreat this weekend.  Perhaps I'll have something to update on that when we get back.  Very much looking forward to it!

A few random pictures - just because the blog looks better with pictures.  I'm sort of envious of some people's blogs with beautiful pictures.  Oh well....

A picture of the crepe myrtle in my back yard.  Surely there are others with more flowers and prettier colors, but this is mine.  It adds beauty all the same.  

And a picture of some potential cantaloupes in my garden.

sacred heart

Today is the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus.  For daily Mass, a solemnity means that there are three readings, instead of two, and usually the Gloria is recited as part of the Introductory Rites.  Usually for daily Mass there are only two readings and the Gloria is not said.

The readings today were beautiful.  The first reading was from Ezekiel 34, and said in part, "I myself will look after and tend my sheep...I will rescue them from every place where they were scattered when it was cloudy and dark...the lost I will seek out, the strayed I will bring back, the injured I will bind up, the sick I will heal...."  You have to love that image.  God isn't out-sourcing his caring and pawning it off on someone else to do.  He has got our backs!  The responsorial Psalm was the 23rd Psalm, "The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want."  Really?  Probably, most of the time.  The second reading from Romans 5 says, "The love  of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit....Christ...died for the ungodly....we were reconciled to God through the death of his Son....  And the Gospel was the beautiful parable of the lost sheep from Luke 15.  One of my favorite images of Jesus...when he does find it, he sets it on his shoulders with great joy...  I've been that lost sheep...

 

Father said that all week long, through the readings from 1Kings, we have been shown the "heart of God" and the Heart of God is mercy.  Plain and simple, when we sin, returning to the heart of God is about forgiveness and reconciliation, strength and grace.  Mercy.  And if we follow Jesus in humility and obedience, it will lead us straight to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

Those Sacred Heart pictures have always seemed a little odd to me.  So in honor of the day, how about a lost sheep image?

I was able to get to Mass early today.  That is my goal every day - to get there 15 or 20 minutes ahead of time to enjoy the quiet and pray, but during school it just doesn't happen.  Today was the first time this summer that I've been there significantly early.  (I thought I was early a couple of days....but I really wasn't.)  Anyway, I was there before the candles were lit.  One of my Facebook mom friends had posted about her cousin last week who had been given only a few weeks to live, so she was one of the people I prayed for while I was there.  Kind of strange to get home and see on FB that during the same time frame I was sitting in church before 6:30 Mass, she had passed away..

I picked up the paint for our parking lot project this morning.  Our test run will get underway this afternoon....

mercy!

Another homily post.  I was back at my "home" parish this morning.  I had to chuckle when Father referred to yesterday's first reading (1Kings 18:20-39) as the "bar-b-q of all bar-b-q's." 

At the end of today's first reading (1Kings 18: 41-46) I was thinking, "I hope he explains this one..."  And he did explain that the rain cloud was the symbol of the end of a three-year drought.  Elijah revealing the "heart of God" to his people.  God giving them a chance to start over with life-giving water.  And somehow he managed to tie it to the gospel (Mt 5:20-26), which was Jesus revealing God's heart.  He noted that we need to check our thoughts and attitudes because behavior comes from thoughts and attitudes.  We don't just "do" something; it comes from somewhere - a thought or an attitude.  He also tied in mercy and how the degree to which we show mercy is the degree to which we reveal the heart of God to others around us.

Tomorrow.... the Feast of the Sacred Heart...so appropriate that the readings today were revealing "God's Heart". 

son of the father

Faculty meeting this morning.  Bible Study this evening.  Bible study definitely being the better of the two.

Faculty meeting...let me not say too much since people I know can access this blog through my facebook page (not that they would want to).  But, OH MY!   There are 22 days of school left.  And now you're going to tell me to START doing my job.

And people wonder why I go to Mass in the morning.

I feel like I should go to confession.  Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I went to work. Everything I did there for the past 158 days was probably wrong.  I'm sorry and I will try to do better, but I have 22 days left, and  I don't know how I will avoid the near occasion of sin.

Amazing.,

And, no, I would not make a mockery out of the sacrament of reconciliation, and there probably are some legitimate work-related things that I could do better.  I just detest these kinds of meetings.  If I am not doing my job, please talk to me at the beginning of the year one-on-one.  Come help me.  Make suggestions.  Don't make some general statement with less than two dozen days left.

Bible Study.  Something I look forward to.  This week was the Passion of  Christ in Matthew.  The part about  Barabbas was worth sharing.  At the Passover, the Jews celebrated their release from slavery in Egypt, and so it was customary for a prisoner to be released during the Passover.  The name "Barabbas" means "son of the father". The only way that he can be released is if the real Son of the Father pays the price for him.  In a sense, we are all Barabbas - the sinful children of the Father set free by the other Son.

And how about this little tidbit - quoting from our pastor's handout, "In this context, Jesus makes the wood of the Cross the new Tree of Life.  And the fruit of this tree is his flesh and blood, the Eucharist.  And if we eat of the fruit, we'll live forever."  I never thought of it that way.  Makes a ton of sense, though.

I've gotten a few updates from friends from the church that had a fire last week.  Most of the damage appears to be water and smoke.  Daily Mass is being held in the parish library and Sunday Mass at the gym of a nearby school.  My friend today, said he hoped that they would be back in the church by the beginning of June.  That would be great!

Let spring break begin!!

golden calves

The first reading at Mass today was from Exodus.  It was the story of the golden calf and Moses' intercession for his people after that when God was ready to wash His hands of the whole sorry bunch.  The golden calf incident was at the very beginning of the scripture, and if you were having and ADD moment, you could miss it all together.  It only took up a sentence or so.  But the major image from the homily was based on that.  We all have our own "ugly little golden calves" that we need to ask God to take from us.  When we come forward to receive Holy Communion, we bring those ugly little golden calves with us, God takes them from us, and gives us the gift of Himself instead.  Not really a fair trade, but a gift of amazing love.

zero tolerance

Mass today was awesome.  It's always awesome, or maybe I just have an awesome parish.  I don't know.

Father highlighted the following texts from the readings and went from there:  Therefore I have come down to rescue them from the hands of the Egyptians and lead them into a good and spacious land... (Exodus 3)  Merciful and gracious is the LORD, slow to anger and abounding in kindness.  (Psalm 103)  Therefore, whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall. (1Corinthians 10:12) But I tell you, if you do not repent, you will all perish as they did. (Luke 13)

I'm paraphrasing.  Jesus was sent to set us free.  God DOES want us free - from our addictions, our attitudes, our bad habits, our selfishness.  He sends us His strength and His mercy, he offers us freedom, BUT we have to claim it for ourselves.  The Lord IS merciful, gracious, kind, and slow to anger.  He wants nothing more than for us to be with Him.  But at some point, the mercy and kindness comes to an end, and we will be judged on the fruit our lives produced.  God does not tolerate sin.

I think there is a tendency for modern people to think of God as a big ol' teddy bear in the sky saying, "Sure, go ahead, do whatever you feel like.  We'll talk when you get up here and we'll figure things out then."  It came as a rude awakening for me several years ago when I realized that I when I got to the Pearly Gates that I would not be entitled to an attorney and one would not be appointed for me if I couldn't afford one.  Because after all, I could justify just about every wrong thing I'd ever done - from the most serious all the way down to the most trivial.  No,  I was going to be standing there all by myself and I wouldn't need to say a word because God already knew it all.  All my excuses... they wouldn't be good for anything.  Can you say, "Wake up call?"

Anyway, back to Mass....  If we think we don't need God...if we think we're "standing secure" as St. Paul says, maybe we better think again.

The Gospel today talks about people being killed with a tower fell on them.  It was only 18 people...must not have been a very big tower.  But it brought back memories for me of the day that The Towers fell.  And that day was huge for me.  I knew instinctively that those people were no more guilty than me, but I had been in those Towers that day, it would not have been good. 

 Father also asked rhetorically what we are doing for Lent and why.  He explained that Lent is about doing religious things.  Anyone can do "religious things" anytime, anywhere.  It is a time for doing "religious things" FOR A PURPOSE.  So that God can effect a behavior change in us, so that we can become closer to Him.  To just do religious things with no purpose is voodoo, superstition, or worse, hypocrisy.  Quoting there.  (That's what he said!)  So that makes me look at some of my lenten "stuff".  I can see where some of it fits the bill - it is about changing and growing and letting Him work.  Other stuff... I'm.not so sure.

After the homily was the Scrutinies for the three Elect in our parish  who will be joining the Church at Easter.  That was interesting; I'd never seen/experienced it before.  The Elect and their sponsors were called forward.  Father explained that this is a time when they scrutinize their lives to see what is in need of change.  There was a brief time of silent prayer, and then a blessing.  Then he placed his hands on each of their heads (praying silently, I suppose).

The music was amazing.  This is the Mass that the choir sings at.  The song at the Offertory was the spiritual Let My People Go  Beautifully, beautifully sung of course. 

And that is that.  I know there has been much spiritual "stuff" on this blog lately, but that's what's on my mind.  Apologies if it's boring.  Stick around.  Sooner or later, there will be work-related vents, things with the kids, or who knows what.

but the greatest of these is love

I remember being at Mass several months ago (or maybe a year or more) and hearing the scripture from 1Cor13, and thinking that I had screwed up at most of the items on the list.  I mean, I used to like that passage - it sounded so nice - all about love.  But then I got married...  Love is patient (x that off the list).  Love is kind (ummm.... well), etc.  I could just copy chapter 13, take it to confession and say, "Look, Father... everything in here, I have messed up at one time or another."  And so that has stayed in the back of my mind for a while.

Then earlier this year, I heard the good people on KLOVE talking about something called "The Love Dare".  It is a 40 day devotional that guides you to an understanding of what true love is. It's a choice.  I knew with the 40 days, it had Lent's name all over it.  I went to the local Catholic bookstore early in Lent and got the last copy on the shelf.  And so I am working through that.  So far, I highly recommend it.  It might very well be an answer to the prayer, "Help me to love better."  Because if I do not have love, I gain nothing. (1Cor13:3)  But it didn't take me long to figure out that I had a long way to go, and in some of those areas, my dear hubby is actually *gasp* doing a better job than me!  

Coincidentally enough, following up an awesome Bible Study lesson on unforgiveness (Matt 18) two weeks ago,  was one on marriage (Matt 19).  The presentation was pretty good, but I think what touched me more than the DVD presentation was the homework.  Part of what we had to do was to read what the Catholic Catechism has to say about marriage.  I had never read that before, but I thought it was beautiful.  Paragraphs 1601-1617 and 1642.  You can read that here, should the spirit move you.  It helps to explain the source of the conflict (thanks, Adam and Eve) and the plans God really has for marriage. 

We are all very much works in progress, but hopefully by the end of Lent, I will be more than the clanging cymbal that St. Paul speaks of.

consumed

From this morning's homily at Mass.  (and don't ask me how it ties in with the readings exactly, though I may take a stab at that later).

In the Italian Mediterranean there is a species of jellyfish that consumes a certain kind of snail.  However, the jellyfish's digestive system can not digest the snail's shell.  So..... when the jellyfish consumes the snail, the snail attaches to the inner lining of the jellyfish.  (Do jellyfish have stomachs?)  As the snail grows, it consumes the jellyfish.  By the time it is fully grown, the jellyfish has been completely consumed.  How's that for payback?  The consumed becomes the consumer and the consumer becomes the consumed.

So switching gears...we consume the Eucharist at Mass - the Real Presence of Jesus.  Does He attach Himself to our stomach lining?  No, but He does attach Himself to our hearts, our souls, our being, if we are open to Him.  We can be consumed with love for Him because of his Love for us.  The consumer becomes consumed. 

And the tie-in is this, I think.  This was the story of the rich man in Luke, who totally ignored the poor, sore-covered Lazarus who was at his door.  The rich man ended up in torment in the netherworld, while Lazarus went off to better things.  The rich man was consumed with things of this world.

What are we consumed by?  What are we dining on?