take time

Yes, it's true.  Or maybe it's more true that the people of Louisiana LOVE Our Lady of Kibeho and her ambassador, Immaculee.  I spent yesterday evening and the better part of today at a retreat featuring Immaculee.  Just me and 999 of her other closest friends, many of who have heard her speak on other occasions.  There is just something about her that draws people - again and again.  People in this area absolutely love her, and she said she feels like she is coming home when she comes here.  Friday night, she was welcomed with a standing ovation before she said a single word!

Her story...her time spent in the bathroom with 7 other women for 90 some odd days hiding from mobs of roaming killers....a time during which she lost her family, but found herself, is fascinating.  She speaks of the fear and of the miracles that occurred while she was in that bathroom during the 1994 genocide in Rwanda.  She speaks of forgiveness and sadness. 

But most of all, she speaks about love. The love of Our Lord, and Our Lady.  She encourages us to ask God for what we want, as long as it does not run contrary to His will.  Either we will receive what we ask for or the desire for it will be removed.  She shares stories from her own life where seemingly impossible things happened.  More than once. 

I have said it before, but there is a love and a peace that just radiates from this young lady.  ( I had a hard time getting a decent picture today.  The crowd was enormous, my camera was acting crazy, and I didn't want to look too much like a stalker.)

I am lucky.  This is the third time in a year that I've heard her speak (well, actually a year and a week, I think).  And while much of what she had to say, I had heard before, there were still things that were new to me or things that I heard in a different way because I am at a different place in my life. 

A year ago, I never rarely prayed the Rosary.  Nothing personal, just wasn't my thing.  Then at her retreat last June, she led a rosary that changed that for me.  In the last 10 months, I have prayed more Rosaries than I did in the previous 10 years (which isn't really saying a whole lot).  A daily Rosary was really my one Lenten resolution this year.  I succeeded somewhat at it; there is still p.l.e.n.t.y of room for growth, but I was much more open today to the repeated requests of "the Blessed Mother asks us to pray the Rosary every day".  I suppose when Lent is over, I will keep plugging away at it.  I bought her Rosary CD's...I've been contemplating that purchase since I saw her last June.

That's Our Lady of Kibeho and some of the many flowers we brought today.  When the Blessed Mother would appear in Kibeho, she often referred to those in the crowd as "her little flowers".  And so today we offered flowers, but also were flowers.

She had practical advice today that I had not heard before.  First of all, we need to clear away (clean house) of what is not uplifting or good.  Our music, our art.  I'm fine with this, but I'm not sure how far I'll get with my teenage sons.  Secondly was some advice on Daily Prayer that she received from someone else. 

• First is to wake up with a prayer to God.  Ask Him to guide you, to forgive you, etc.  
• Then once you are awake, read a few Scripture verses...I suppose it could be from part of the Daily Mass readings... and then spend a few minutes meditating upon them.  
• Next is to read a paragraph....just a paragraph from some kind of spiritual reading and meditate. 
• Then during the day, find five minutes or so of quiet when you can reconnect with God.
• And at the end of the day, make sure you end with prayer...I suppose there could also be another bit of Scripture and Spiritual reading.  

If we want to be with God, she said, we need to make time for Him.

She closed with a couple of final bits of advice.  One is on my Facebook page.... If you are ever conflicted between being right or being kind, always choose kindness.

And with Lent drawing to a close and Holy Week beginning, she asked us to take time this week to see Our Lord and His Mother.  Take time to love them for what they went through for us.  Console them...

And along with those thoughts, I'll leave you with a couple of images that I ran across today.  The church where this event has a school, and the school was open today for us to use for lunch, etc.  These statues were in the lobby.  I thought they were unlike anything I've seen before, but beautiful. 

immaculee

 

If you're in California with nothing to do this coming weekend, I have the perfect thing for you.  Immaculee will be there. 

I've heard her speak twice, once as a keynote speaker for an hour or two at a conference, and once at a weekend long retreat.  She is simply awesome!  Humble, faith-filled, amazing, glowing, intelligent, humorous, beautiful.   And if you can't make the conference (or even if you can) her books should be required reading for just about everyone. 

weapons of choice

Thank you, Immaculee.   After years of using the Rosary as a cure for insomnia or just mindlessly reciting the prayers along with the CD in my car, I have actually PRAYED a few Rosaries in the past few weeks.  I was impressed by the claim that the Blessed Mother will grant whatever we ask for or give us the peace to accept the answer if it is "no". There's a few things that I could ask for....

One prayer that I often pray is "Lord, help me to see what needs fixing in my life," or some variation on that theme.  We get so used to ourselves that we can hide our weaknesses and faults from ourselves better than we can hide them from other people.  So I asked to see.  Even when I am trying to see, when I am wanting to go to confession with some sins to confess, I feel like there is a great deal left undiscovered.  Father, I am sorry for these and all my sins that I can't even think of??  I don't "see" very well.

They weren't kidding when they said that Jesus will grant whatever His Mother asks him for.  Tuesday night, we met to pray the Seven Sorrows Rosary.  One of the things it promises is "true repentance", so as the CD played, I thought, "Yeah, that's what I want, Lord, true repentance."   Wow!   When I went to the Adoration chapel on Sunday... oh my!!  Be careful what you ask Mary to ask for.  I thought it would take a little while for my request to get "processed", so this was somewhat unexpected.

"Lord, help me to see."

"Well, Karen, what about the times when you judge others?  (Nothing like getting right to the point?)  Or don't pray for those you don't like?  Or look to blame others for things that are your fault?  Or lack patience with annoying people?  Or? Or? Or?"

"Whoa!  Hold on Lord.  Slow down, should I get my pen and paper?" 

"Do you need me to repeat anything for you?  Or should I keep going?"

He kept going.

I left the Adoration Chapel that day, reflective, but not really all that amazed at the conversation. The experience got just a couple of lines in this post.  It took a while for it to sink in.  By the end of the week, I found myself looking at a calendar trying to figure out when a good time to go to confession would be. 

My "ideal" confession frequency is every month or two, and it had just been two weeks.... But the list was already made.  Clearly God had other plans than the once a month or so deal. 

I still get nervous.  There is no line.  I took a deep breath and opened the door.  "Bless me Father, for I have sinned.  It's been two weeks, and it wasn't my idea to come back again so soon.  But God spoke, and I took notes.  And I brought them with me."  He smiled.  I just read off of my list.  Attitudes, thoughts, failures.   Some of it was "the regulars", but others were things I'd never admitted before.  Quite humbling to sit there and give voice to.  I couldn't hide the nervousness in my voice, and I stumbled through my list. Just get me to the end.  No explanations, no excuses, just the bare truth.   When I reached the end, the only comment I got was, "Wonderful!"

Really??  Ummmm.... OK.

Isn't God's mercy awesome?

The crux of the homily Friday at Mass was that when we recognize our need for the Divine Physician, He will lead us deeper into the Heart of God (it was First Friday when we celebrate the Sacred Heart), and the Heart of God is Mercy. 

And the best part?  The Divine Physician is on everyone's plan and there no co-pay, no deductible.  The bill has already been paid in full.  And not by us.  Our only responsibility is to show up for the appointment.

So I'm looking back over this and seeing that I've gone from the Rosary to Reconciliation. Weapons of choice?

summer

Monday was the first day of summer, according to the calendar.  But it's been summer for a couple of months now in these parts. I always start summer with great plans of the things that will get done - and some of them DO get done.  But then the heat limits your activities, and afternoons seem like perfect time for naps, and kids sleep until whenever.  You start off thinking that there will be infinite time - no commitments - and then the time fills up and you are as busy as you were during school - albeit with different, and  usually more pleasant activities.

It seems like things aren't as interesting during the summer.  Days pass, and nothing says,"blog about me".  And so I don't, because I can always do it later.

Monday, I got up and went to Mass.  That is always the best part of a day.  I had gotten Immaculee's book, Our Lady of Kibeho for my pastor at the retreat on Sunday.  I waited until the last day, and something pointed me to that book.  The idea that the story of Our Lady's apparitions in Kibeho might be the story that Immaculee was left to tell.  That and one of the ladies working at the bookstore mentioning that while priests here might be different, where she is from, 10 out of 10 have never heard of Our Lady of Kibeho.  So I bought the book, and had it signed.

It says, "God bless you more.  Love, Immaculee"  My sister-in-law also bought her priest a [different] book, but she just signed it, "God bless you".  SIL made sure to tell her priest that Fr. R (my pastor) was more blessed than he was.   Anyway, I digress.  I gave him the book after Mass on Monday.  I think I caught him off guard.  He thanked me, but didn't say much and I didn't hang around.  Either he'll read it or he won't - depending on where the Holy Spirit leads.  I have to think though, that he'll at least open it up out of curiosity or to look at the pictures.  And maybe read.

Met a friend to work out.  I think I overdid the back-ab machine trying to get the little @#$% light to stay green.  My back hurt all day - not a pulled kind of hurt, but a stiffness.

Last week, when I went to confession, we talked about quiet places and how to find them.  His suggestion was to visit a somewhat-nearby monastery, and he mentioned that he said Mass there on Tuesdays.  There is no Mass at our parish on Tuesdays.  Usually I go to St. P's or Our Lady of the Library on those days.  So I debated.  I don't want to look like a priest groupie/stalker following him to the Monastery, but it was a viable option.  I also enjoy OLOL, but sometimes it is just too busy  joy-filled and the library is crowded cozy.  In the end, I went to the monastery.  And when Mass was over, I stayed and prayed the Rosary. 

                                                                                                 

The Rosary is something that I've never developed a great affection for.  My mind seems to wander a million different directions, and its most common use in my life has been as an almost sure-cure for insomnia.  It's been so long since I've prayed it with any kind of regularity, that I had to print off a cheat sheet for the mysteries.  But I stayed, and recalling Immaculee's meditations on the sorrowful mysteries, I actually meditated on them.  It might be the first time ever!

Wednesday found dear hubby and I taking a car to the shop in the early morning and meeting with an accountant to see about our taxes mid-morning.  Mass was at 12:15.  Sitting there before Mass, I had an idea.  Backing up:  Prayer is something that I struggle with at times.  Mass is non-negotiable.  If I can get there, I'm there, and my day is better for it.  But personal prayer is more hit or miss...for the last couple of years, I've tried to pray the Liturgy of the Hours in the morning and evening.  It has been both a blessing and a burden.  I have found some great treasures in the psalms.  It is at times a way for God to speak to me.  And probably most days, I pray both morning and evening.  Each takes about 15 minutes and sometimes there is a temptation to just blow through it with half a mind or put if off or skip it altogether.  Then this weekend, there was the exhortation to pray the rosary.  Pray.  Pray. Pray.

I struggle with this because there are only so many hours in a day.  Don't I do enough attending Mass?  How can I add in something else?  And then sitting there... I thought.... I could pray the Rosary and one of the Hours.  It was such an obvious and simple solution.  Who knew?  Let's see if it will work.  It still involves taking time from "my" stuff to focus on something else.

Late afternoon, dropped the kids and a friend off to see Toy Story 3, and did some shopping with friend's mom.  It was quite enjoyable.

Skipped working out.  Fell asleep working on this post and neglected that nighttime prayer.  :-(  I'm a work in progress.  

kibeho

This weekend, I had the awesome opportunity to attend a retreat weekend with Immaculee'. 

That's me in the back with Immaculee and my wonderful sister-in-law.  (I hate pictures of myself ;-))  Here's a better one that SIL took with her iPhone.

I first heard of Immaculee a couple of years ago, when a friend of mine was going on a retreat with her.  She explained that she was the woman that hid in a bathroom with 7 other women for 3 months in Rwanda and survived the genocide in 1994 when a million people were killed.  Last summer I checked her first book out of the library (Left to Tell).  It is a book that will leave a lasting impression on you!  Then, around Christmas this past year, I heard that she was coming to my hometown to speak at a conference this spring.  I was SO there.  She had one brother who survived the genocide because he was out of the country.  Two brothers, both parents, extended family, and friends were killed.  But her message is one of forgiveness and mercy.  Just amazing!

At the conference here in the spring, where we were able to listen to her for about an hour or so, she announced that she would be back in our state in June for a retreat!  I knew I had to be there!  Isn't she beautiful?  Doesn't she glow with an inner joy?  Instead of bitterness and hatred? 

There was a lot that happened this weekend.  I imagine it will take some time to process it.  But I will share as best I can at this point.  I didn't really know what to expect going in, and I tried to open to whatever was there and surrender to what God wanted to tell me. 

The first evening, she shared her story with us.   That was followed by a Mass and a healing service conducted by Father Ubald.  Father is also a genocide survivor.  The healing service was a first for me.  The Blessed Sacrament was exposed, and then slowly processed around the room that we were gathered in while we sang "Jesus".  (Only say the word, and I shall be healed.... the word is Jesus.)  I started the evening praying for others in my life that need healing.  I don't have any pressing health needs, and I'm doing pretty OK.  But as I knelt there, I could see the things in my life that need healing.  The attitudes.  The thoughts.

After the procession, Father sat for a little while and then  began to name the things that Jesus had healed.  He speaks French, so Immaculee translated for him.  And then people were invited to give testimony if they had been healed or thought it might be them.  It was a new experience for me.  It was late when we finished.  Before we left, Immaculee asked us to bring a flower for Our Blessed Mother. 

So we stopped at Winn Dixie on the way the next morning.  We offered our flowers to Mary. 

Our Lady of Kibeho

Immaculee spoke about Our Mother and how she leads us to her son.  She spoke of love and of how it is better to build up one another.  Instead of praying that a pesky co-worker gets fired, pray that he or she finds a better job.  That way both of you get something good! 

Her faith is so powerful.  She spent her time in the bathroom praying a rosary that her father had given her before sending her off to hide. 27 Rosaries a day for 90 days.  You do the math. 

But those seeds were planted long before she ended up in the bathroom.  Her parents had a devotion to the Blessed Mother and a strong belief in the power of the Rosary.  Our Lady had appeared to school girls in a small village (Kibeho) in Africa about 12 years before the genocide, and warned of the genocide if people did not change their hearts. 

One of the things that Mary asked was that the Rosary of the Seven Sorrows be prayed.  It is a devotion that was popular in the Middle Ages, but had fallen out of favor. 

There are seven medals depicting the 7 Sorrows of Our Lady's life and then 7 Hail Mary's between each.  Seven groups of seven. This particular Rosary was made in Rwanda by workers who are paid a "living wage" so that they can live with dignity. 

When I was in fourth grade, Sister Agnes told us that we would go straight to hell if we dared to put a Rosary over our heads and wear it as a necklace.  Apparently that rule has been changed, because that was where you mostly saw them this weekend.  If the gang banger wannabe's can wear them to school, I think I might try it, too!

There was a local priest there who spent many hours yesterday (and a little while today) hearing confessions over in the corner.  This is the confession line sitting across the front of the stage during a break.  It is always wonderful to see people take advantage of this sacrament. 

In the afternoon, Father Ubald told his story. (And he IS bald!)  Another priest to pray for!  We fell in love with him.   He told how the Rosary brought him back to his faith, even as a seminarian.  His English is limited, so we would speak and Immaculee would translate.  He returned to Rwanda after the genocide and has worked in trying to help people heal and reconcile.  He is building a center where people can come and also including housing for retired priests - who can continue to minister to the extent that they are able to those who are in need of healing and reconciliation.  He has the gift of healing, but he seemed to stress the physical healing that often accompanies forgiveness. 

The testimonies after the healing service of the ways that Jesus is working in people's lives were particularly moving Saturday night.  Parents who had lost children.  Spouses who had forgiven spouses and been healed from physical ailments in the process.  Very emotional.

This little girl belonged to one of the musicians who was there this weekend.  Adopted from China, she was just precious.  She just embodied the innocence of childhood.  Here she is making herself very comfortable on stage!

One of the ladies giving testimony on Saturday evening had remembered that Sunday was Father's day and on her lunch break had bought Father a beautiful Father's Day gift.  On the side of the boat there was the scripture verse about being fishers of men and she thanked him for putting us all in his net and dragging us in and thanked him for pulling in all of the retired priests in the center he is trying to build.  He was moved to tears.  (And so were most of the rest of us.)  He placed the gift next to the Blessed Sacrament.

And what were the messages that I got this weekend?  I went not really knowing what to expect, but just trying to be open to whatever might present itself. 

I learned that Immaculee was indeed left to tell, but it was not necessarily the story of her survival that she was left to tell.  Quite possibly, it was the story of Our Lady of Kibeho that she was left to tell.  She sympathized with us about the suffering that has gone on in our area.  First Katrina, and now the oil spill and moratorium.  We, also, are left to tell the story of God's goodness and faithfulness and almighty power with our lives.  More than anything, God is about love. 

I know that I need to pray with my family.  That was a pretty clear message. We should pray with our children when they are young, so that they are not easy prey for the devil when they get older.  I need to pray the Rosary.  It is such a powerful weapon, but something I have never developed an affection for.  I have always felt like I could go straight to Jesus.  Why stop and talk to His mom along the way?  But my sister-in-law pointed out that John Paul II had quite a devotion to Mary, and  surely he could have gone straight to Jesus.  Maybe we would do well to imitate that. 

Pray.  Pray.  Pray.

The greatest of these is love!

divine mercy

This is a long one!  Today I was able to attend a "Divine Mercy Conference."  I have been looking forward to it for months and I am thrilled that everything worked out so that I could attend.  There were local priests who spoke, and national speakers (some I had heard of before, and some not.)

First on the list was the pastor from down the road.  I've heard him speak before, and I could (and have) listened to him all day (at a day of reflection).  I took a few notes while he spoke and I will share my notes - however disjointed they may be.  He started off by defining MERCY:  May Easter's Reality Convert You.   He said that we have lost our sense of sin; we have lost our sense of need for Divine Mercy.  He told about a shrine in Miami built by the Cubans who had made their way there.  Outside of the confessional is a sign that reads (in Spanish) "Wash your heart here".  Isn't that appropriate?  He said how much he likes the Eucharistic Prayers of Reconciliation which are sometimes used during Lent.  One sentence in particular:  "When we were lost and could not find the way to you, you loved us more than ever.   He listed the three most "under-confessed" sins.  The first was not keeping holy the Sabbath.  Too often we treat Sunday just like another day.  The second was coveting.  No one ever confesses coveting, he says.  After all, we're Americans.  The third was taking the Lord's name in vain (not by saying the G.D. word, but) by not living a life that is worthy of the name "Christian".  He ended by saying we cannot out-sin God's Divine Mercy.  Good thing to know.

The next speaker was a doctor from Tampa.  He was involved with the Eucharistic Apostles of Divine Mercy.  He was someone who's life was greatly changed by St. Faustina's diary and the message of Divine Mercy.  He said how valuable it is to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet during Eucharistic Adoration for the sick and dying.  He said that forgiveness opens to the door to Divine Mercy.  He said we should not fear the crosses that we meet in our lives - for many, the fear of the cross is greater than the cross itself.  He spoke of many things from his own life - the near drowing death of his young son, the pregnancy of his wife (at age 50) and his role as a caretaker for his Dad.  He talked about the sacredness of life.

Next on the line-up was Immaculee'  What a beautiful, beautiful woman!  She glows!  She radiates God's love from the inside out.  If you haven't made the acquaintance of Immaculee', you should.  Here is a taste.  Just ignore the Spanish captions. 




There are more videos on YouTube, and she has written several books.  Her story "Left to Tell" is phenomenal.  THIS is someone who deserves the Nobel Peace Prize!  I mostly listened to her story.  It is heartbreaking, but so filled with God's Divine Mercy.  I wrote down only one thing that she said - her last statement.  It so applies in my life.  "If you are ever conflicted between being kind and being right, choose kindness."  I hate to be wrong.

After lunch, we heard from Marcus Grodi of EWTN fame and the Coming Home Network.  Once a Protestant minister, he is now Catholic, and helps others make the same journey.

After Marcus, came Annie Karto.  Her story was simple, but touching.  She is a Catholic singer.  She told of being divorced and married outside the Catholic Church and of God's healing mercy.  She spoke of refraining from the sacraments for the two years it took for her anullment to be processed. She told of going to confession, and her penance being to spread the message of Divine Mercy for the rest of her life!  She said that penance is a joy!  We prayed the Divine Mercy chaplet - in song..



And finally, our last speaker - another local priest.  He talks fast and has a thick Cajun accent, but I think I heard most of what he said.  After we had spent the day hearing about the Image of Divine Mercy, the Chaplet of Divine Mercy, and the Feast of Divine Mercy, he was there to tell us about the Sacrament of Divine Mercy (also known as Confession).  He spoke of the benefits of confession over the "straight to God" method:  (1) the removal of all guilt   (2) Sanctifying grace  (3) Sacramental (medicinal) grace to avoid sin.  He said he had done the math and that if all Catholics in our diocese went to confession monthly and spent 5 minutes in the confessional, each priest on active duty would have to hear confessions 10 hours a day, 5 days a week.  We're nowhere near that, yet.  But things are improving.

His advice for confession:  (1) Go early and often!  Don't abuse the sacrament; wait until you are sorry, but GO. (2) Be brief, be blunt, be gone.  (He needs to know what the sin is, so don't dance around it too much, but leave out the gory details.)  (3)  Worst first.  (4) Get in touch with the one you have offended.  (Jesus)  Realize who you are approaching in the confessional.  (Jesus)  (5) Bring the joy of the encounter to others.  (I've often felt like the weird one talking about confession either in person or in this blog, but I think it's neat to share the good things in life.) (6) Be merciful.

As a side note, this priest has subbed at my parish twice in the last 6 years or so.  That has been my only experience with him, but he is very memorable.  A couple of summers ago, I became conscious of a couple of sins from long ago.  I was sure they were forgiven, but I knew I had never confessed them, and felt like since I remembered them, I owed that much to Jesus.  So I had asked God if that was what He wanted, to give me the opportunity to go to Confession.  Be careful what you ask for! One morning soon after, I attended 6:30 a.m. Mass at my parish, as I often do.   In walks this priest.  Confessions are heard before daily Mass at our parish, but on this particular day, at the end of Mass, he announced that since he had been running late, he would hear confessions after Mass. I've been going to daily Mass there 3 times a week for the past 4 or 5 years, and that is THE only time I've heard that happen.  I would love to tell you that I took him up on his offer, but I did not.  God put the gift right in my lap, and I turned around and left it because it caught be by surprise and looked "different" than I envisioned. (I very much regretted that, and I did go a couple of days later, when my priest returned.)  I wonder what God might have had for me, though, if I had taken advantage of His offer. 

All in all, it was a long, but fruitful day.  One of my friends was supposed to come with me, but due to technical problems at home, she was not able to make it.  My sister-in-law had sent in her registration a couple of weeks ago, but it was returned to her, because the conference was sold out.  I called her, and she was able to take my friend's spot.  God works in mysterious ways.