so much grace

Something about this time of year makes me want to put down thoughts somewhere and Facebook just isn't the right medium for it.

It's been a time of grace - the last few months.  Lent started in February and I wrote down a prayer or two. "Lord, grant me the wisdom and humility to see myself as you do....Help me to see."

And instead of caving into the temptation to do a million things for Lent, I picked 2 things - getting up when the alarm went off the first time and writing names of friends and family on a calendar and praying/offering the sacrifices of each day for them.  Both of my Lenten observances were works in progress.  The calendar worked when I remembered to look to see who I was praying for.  So many days the conversation went, "Lord, I am offering this Mass for whoever is on my calendar today."  I had even taken a picture of it on my phone, so I would have it.  But then most days for Mass my phone was in the car.  And getting up when the alarm went off...well, that went OK the first week, but then Daylight Savings Time happened, and the struggle was on.

God, for His part did grant the things I asked for.  Oh, indeed I could see, and there were other things that He put in my path that I took advantage of.  God would get an A+ for this Lent.  I was probably about a C-.
One of the graces of Lent was a Catholic Youth Fest held at a seminary a couple of hours from home in late March.  I had heard of it a few years ago, but at the time going just wasn't in the cards.  This year, it was.  Both of my boys and their girlfriends went, and ENJOYED it!

Tell me this is not a grace.  Of all the lines...food, bathroom, church tours... this was by far the longest. There were about 2 dozen priests scattered throughout the clearing in the woods, sitting under umbrellas. They said that over 800 people made their way through the confession line that day.  

 And this.  4,500 people  - most of them teens - at Mass with an Archbishop, 2 Bishops, and dozens of priests.  Right before Mass ended, the Archbishop addressed the crowd, asking for those young people who were actively discerning or who would be OPEN to discerning a vocation in religious life,  should the Lord call, to come forward.  There were hundreds who did so.  My youngest turned around and said to me, "Well, that's an awkward question to say "yes" to when your girlfriend is right here!"  Grace.

 Here's my four favorite young people at Mass.  Boys and their girlfriends - one Catholic, one not.  All claimed to have enjoyed the day and asked about returning next year.  Grace.

Young people praying in the Chapel Tent in the woods.  Quiet. Still.  Grace.

Early in the week, there had been a 90% chance of rain forecast for the day of the Festival.  Gradually, it subsided to 50%.  It was a beautiful, warm, spring day, and the rain held off until about 8 pm.  At that time, the events abruptly concluded before the final speaker finished and before the candlelit adoration.  But that was grace, too.

My "take away" was from the last speaker - a seminarian named Joe Bass.  He was leading up to Adoration, and told the teens, "Jesus did not come to bring you a good conduct report.  He didn't come to bring you a sticker and a Dum-Dum.  He came to meet you in your brokenness."

This year, our pastor was available for confessions on the Tuesday evenings of Lent.  Only 30 minutes, but it still beats Saturday afternoons.  I went one of the Tuesday evenings towards the middle of Lent, and I was #4 of 4 penitents, I think.  The Tuesday of Holy Week, he was available for an hour, and there was a much bigger crowd.  It was to this one, that one of my teens accompanied me.  When they were much younger, we used to indulge in ice cream after confession.  Some things don't change, I discovered. But it's grace when your young adults will still set foot in a confessional.  And for the record...that flavor of ice cream...worth every single calorie.  My penance that night was to offer Mass the next day in thanksgiving for God's mercy and to be open to His graces during Holy Week with a "warm heart".

Wednesday was our Tennebrae Service.  I always go, but don't always walk away inspired.  This year, I got a text in the middle of the day from our choir director asking if I was going and if I would read for it.  Being open to whatever graces might be there, I answered back "yes and yes".  I spent the day at our Special Olympics Track meet and it was hot and very sunny.  I was spent by the time the evening rolled around, but the music was lovely - you could just sit back, close your eyes, and listen, the Psalms, Lamentations...it all came together.

Holy Thursday is my favorite day of the Liturgical Year, I think, and for weeks, I had contemplated taking the day off.  At some point, I got an email from one of my friends during Lent inviting me to the Passion Play on Thursday morning at her son's school, and I figured that was a sign to take the day off.  So I did.

The Senior Class put on the play, and it was well-done and moving.  My youngest son, who had gone to school with some of these kids in elementary and middle school also took the day off and came with me. Grace.

The next stop of the day was the Chrism Mass.  I've been a few times before, and love it.  My regular church lady friend couldn't come, so I invited my sister-in-law.  I sensed that she wasn't sure about coming, because she had a lot to do that day, but she did.  The priests of the diocese come to this Mass to renew their promises as a priest and also to receive the blessed oils (thus the name Chrism Mass) for use in their ministries and parishes.  As you see row after row of priests file into the pews, you are struck by the diversity of the priesthood.  There are fat and skinny, tall and short, old and young.  Priests in shiny loafers and priests in worn black sneakers.  Black, white, Indian, and Asian.  Priests who are bald and even a priest with a pony tail.  And then there is a deep appreciation for all of them - whether they are long-winded or short and sweet, arrogant or humble, simple or extravagant, funny or serious, - a deep appreciation for their "yes". Grace.

I have no pictures of the Chrism Mass; it would just not be appropriate to pull out a camera or an iphone and start clicking.  And it probably wouldn't capture it anyway...the sights, the music that is right next to heaven, the incense. When all was said and done, my sister-in-law turned to me and says, "We're coming EVERY year!"  Grace.

Thursday evening is the Mass of the Lord's Supper, and if I could only go to one Mass a year, this would be it!  I have no pictures of it, either.  It is a simple affair at our parish.  No feet are washed.  Adoration only continues for an hour after Mass.  But the Eucharistic procession touches me every year.  Our priest carefully wraps his vestment around the ciborium containing the Blessed Sacrament, as a mother would wrap up a child going out into the cold, holds it close to him and slowly processes around the inside of the church, up and down each side.  It gets me every time - Jesus walking among us.  It is grace.  And the period of Adoration...it passes way too quickly, but it is a lovely, quiet time to reflect on Lent that is now over and to look forward to the events of Good Friday and beyond.  Grace.

There was a side note to my grace this year.  All during Lent, and even before, I have struggled with getting to daily Mass on time.  For the past few years, I have driven my kids to the bus stop, waited for the bus, and then proceeded to Mass, and the times worked out perfectly - I was seldom late.  Now my remaining high schooler drives himself most days, and the urgency to get out of the house is not the same.  I have brought the struggle to confession, once, twice, maybe more.  It has been way harder than it needs to be.  But the struggle is real, as they say.  I know that I checked the time for the Chrism Mass, and relayed the time to my sister-in-law.  I "knew" it was at 10:00, and we were there nearly an hour early.  10:00 rolled around, and things didn't seem to be starting.  Oops, it was 10:30.  As I sat there waiting, it occurred to me that God had indeed found a way to get those minutes back that I had been late.  Grace!

That would be funny enough, except that I repeated the scenario almost exactly for the evening Mass.  I had copied and pasted the Mass schedule from last year's (or the year before's) altar server schedule and missed the fact that Mass was at 6:30 and not 6:00.  I felt a little bad for my altar servers who were there an hour early, but they (and their parents) were good about it.  Grace. And God's sense of humor.

May God's grace find you in the celebrations yet to come as part of the Triduum and the Easter season. Look for Him with a warm heart and an open mind.

the path to eagle

There was a time, not too long ago, where my response to some event would be "oh, I can blog about that." But so rarely now does that happen.

Holy Week and the celebration of the Triduum awakened some of that.  It is so full of imagery and just good "stuff".  

Another stepping stone occurred this weekend, too, that I would wish to document (and which the teen subject would probably be OK with).

It's been a long process to get to this point, but his Eagle project was completed this weekend.  Other things remain before he can submit his application, but the project is DONE! 

Planning began in earnest about a year ago.  He had seen a stepping stone Rosary and when the time was right he approached the principal at the school he attended for grades K-8 about doing such a project for the school.  They were willing, and so he began work on a proposal, submitted it for all of the signatures and had it approved last summer.  At some point, we were told that there were other plans for the area that he wanted to use for the project, and they were unable to find another suitable chunk of real estate.  They suggested painting a Rosary under a covered area that they have.  Since this was a major change in the project, he was required to do another proposal and submit it.  This happened during the fall.

Then wrestling season began.  If you have wrestlers, you know that nothing else happens during wrestling season (November - February, more or less).  Then he got a job.  I have been forbidden to post that picture on the internet.

A few weekends ago, we bought the supplies.  Last week we were out of school, but the "project beneficiary" was not until Friday, so we (he) made final plans and decided the project would take place on Friday and Saturday.

Friday morning, a small crew - his brother and a good friend - prepared the surface..

 And then they waited...and waited.  We made a run to WalMart for donuts and cookies.  And waited.  Finally, they decided it was "dry enough" and began to lay out the pattern, tracing each bead with chalk.

This process took quite a while, because you know that even though it had been carefully measured and drawn, things did not fit exactly.  So there were changes and decisions to be made along the way.

 Finally, it was time for a trial run with the paint...

They mixed in some gold paint sprinkles...thinking that a little glitter would be a cool thing.  That was pretty much a fail.  Even though we used more than it called for, there was no sparkly glitter effect when we finished.

They painted the "Our Father" beads, and that was a learning experience.  The first one had paint that had oozed under then stencil and then they got paint on the asphalt when they put the stencil down after peeling it off of the circle.  But, they figured out how to fix both of these problems. They cleaned up and went home.

Saturday morning a larger crew showed up.  He had worried about having too many "little kids" that would be careless with a paint roller, but in the end the six that showed up, were perfect.  It was amazing how much debris collected on the covered surface overnight.

I love the picture below - of my Eagle-to-be giving instructions.

Then, working in pairs of one older and one younger, the painting commenced.  It went perfectly.  No drips, no spill, no runs...

What to put as the "connector" on the Rosary had been a problem that he needed to figure out.  In the end, he chose the school logo and made the stencil himself.

For the Cross, he just elected to free-hand it with the roller, and again, it worked quite well.

 A Scout is clean, you know....and paint is messy, so here is the clean-up.

I love this picture, here, too, where he seems to be offering it up to the good God.  Actually, he was looking at the paint he'd gotten all over his hands after taking off one of the paint rollers...

And a final picture of the crew, with the project.  

He is so proud.  Just now, he saw me looking at the pictures to put on here, and he had to stop and look through them again.  "Yeah, I did that," he said.  "Mom, do you think we could go by there tomorrow....just to get another good look at it with it all dry?"

meet cancelled

I'm still here.  But I think I've lost my blogging voice.  But then there was yesterday.

My boys are participating in wrestling at their high school.  Yesterday was to be their last meet before the State Meet in about 10 days.  On days that they have a meet after school, they stay at school to practice and go in the short bus to the school hosting.  On those days, I don't have to pick them up at school, so I look forward to a little extra time to wrap up loose ends at school.

Yesterday, though, I got a phone call from one of the other wrestling parents as my school day was ending.  One of the coaches had collapsed during practice, she said.  The paramedics were there and working on him.  It didn't sound good, so I assured here I would be there just as soon as I got things squared away at school.  I was on my way when she called to tell me that he had passed away.

I had gotten a single text from one of my sons:  "Meet cancelled.  Come get us."

When I arrived at their school, the ambulance was still there.  There were dozens of kids milling around on the sidewalk outside the gym.  My two and one of their teammates came to my vehicle, wordlessly opened the doors and dissolved into tears.  Three teenage boys sobbing is not pretty.  Who do you hug first?  I parked in the parking lot, and the mom of my extra child showed up shortly.

Death can be so sudden.  This man was my age.  Graduated the same year as me.  Was in decent enough shape.  Had a daughter in one of my sons' classes.  "Hug with two arms," was the advice that one of my co-workers passed along from a funeral that she had been to the day before.

We headed home.  "Church or home?" I asked.  "Church," one said.  So we stopped off at the church by my school and in the rainy evening darkness we knelt and prayed.  I know I prayed for wisdom to know what to tell them and how to comfort them, as well as praying for this man and his family.

One minute he had been wrestling with a group of kids.  The next minute, he was unconscious.  The kids were present until the ambulance arrived.  I've not seen someone dying, but my children have. "Coach (the other one) was crying," they said.

Lord, give peace and comfort all those whose lives were touched by Coach Greg - his family, his friends, the youth that he gave his time to.

those little things

Things that are probably not particularly meaningful to others besides me, but that I don't want to forget.

A week or so ago, we showed up at Catechism (CCD) only to have our priest drive up right beside us.  "Oh, no," one of my offspring groaned.  "Confessions?  Tonight?  I haven't even had time to make a list."  Usually towards the end of the fall catechism run, our priest comes to hear confessions from the kids enrolled, but there were still a few weeks left to go.  Due to a scheduling conflict,. I think this was a last minute alteration to the schedule.

As we were driving home that evening, my child remarked that the 20 minutes or so standing in line waiting really hadn't been enough time to think about what he wanted to say.  He must have conveyed this to the priest, though, because the priest told him not to worry - just to leave every thing else up to God.  He seemed to be at peace with that.  I noticed the peace.  As we continued on, he volunteered that he had just mentioned the two things that had been bothering him the most.

I have no clue as to what these might be, but I asked if he had gotten any advice.  He said about our priest's counsel, "He knew just the right thing to say."  I find this to be true about our pastor in my experience, as well.  He DOES know just what to say.  Surely as much as the Holy Spirit working through him as his own wisdom and experience.  I just think it is cool that one of my teenagers can see that, too.

Those are pictures taken of a sunrise one morning from school.  I think I am there too early, if I can see the sun rise.  To be fair, these were before we set the clocks back.

Above is a picture of my older son measuring things for his Eagle Scout Project.  Just documenting that small minute in time.

A couple of pictures from Tuesday's District Cross Country meet.  Neither did particularly well, but the weather was gorgeous, and it was a distraction for the afternoon.

Nothing earth-shattering.  Just some little things.

lettered

Just documenting some family history....

The much awaited letter jacket, arrived a few weeks ago, and my dear child has been anxiously awaiting a chance to wear it.  Some mornings we are in the 50's, but still hitting the 80's most days.

Growing up way too fast. 

checking in

Few and far between are the posts these days.  Partly because the personal nature of things going on.  Partly because I am just plain exhausted at the end of a day in the frog cooker.  Partly because my laptop isn't working.  I know... just get the laptop fixed already!  Except everyone tells me that a 3 year old laptop is not worth repairing.  Sigh.

The frog cooker....  Have you ever heard about cooking frogs?  If you put them in a pot of hot water, they will hop right out.  But if you put them in a pot of room temperature water, and slowly turn the temperature up, they will just stay right there, and eventually, you will have boiled frogs.  That is kind of like my work place.  I have been in the pot a long time, and I think I'm almost cooked!  Other people dip their toe in the pot of our "at risk school" for a couple of days or a few weeks, and they hop right out and go on with their lives.

My room is located among the fifth grade classrooms.  The room across the hall had a teacher for a few weeks.  Then she moved to another position that was vacated by a teacher moving to another grade which was vacated by one of those folks that hopped out of the pot.  So the room across the hall has had a succession of substitutes for the past several weeks...no one caring to stay too long.  As far as I can see, about the only hope of restoring sanity and order at this point would be a retired drill sergeant.  But then we can't raise our voices or keep them in during PE or make them write their spelling words a zillion times. I think we can still give them "the look", but that is about it.  I think they could probably tape a new reality series at our school - Fifth Grade Gone Wild!

We are continuing on our Retrouvaille journey with a few bumps in the road.  My dear husband is convinced that we must do all things in common as a couple or that we will be living a "married singles" lifestyle.  I think he has misunderstood some of the points, but he is insistent.  For me, as a person who has different interests and needs than he does (among them quiet and privacy), my prayer is "Lord, take me now!"  I can see cultivating some interests together.  That is something we definitely need to do a better job of, but I can not possibly imagine giving up everything that I like and he doesn't.  A life of sitting in front of the television.  No, thanks. So some good things, but also some thorns at this point in the journey.  I have a feeling I will be revisiting the "wives be submissive to your husbands" teaching with my priest sometime in the near future.  May God grant him huge helpings of patience!

A few pictures of life....

I think this was on one of our "Hurrication" days.  Hurricane Isaac came this way and took f.o.r.e.v.e.r to get out of town.  My 2 favorite sons looking at one of their scrapbooks.  I don't often see them this close, (and it is even more rare to get photographic evidence)  but I am thankful that they like being brothers.  Usually.

Our new house came with more of everything.  Except the oven.  Is this not the most pitiful LITTLE excuse for an oven you have ever seen?  Dear husband came home with a BOX of bananas one day last week. Found the best, easy recipe for banana bread.  I think this was batch 1 or 2 of 9!

My youngest is running cross country.  Today was his first meet.  Three miles.  22:43 minutes.  This was the sprint for the finish line.    

Thyroid Nodules...I found out that I have "several" on Friday.  I'm not freaking out at this point.  I googled them, to find out that they are common and almost always benign. But I guess I should probably follow up with my doctor.

And that's about all I know for right now!  Say a prayer for us...next week we take on "Conflict Management" in Retrouvaille.  Should be very interesting!

back to school

It has been a while.  With my laptop down, I miss the ease of popping in my SD card and easily inserting pictures.  There is also something about sitting with a laptop on your lap and composing. Things seem to flow better.  My parents also haven't gotten much in the way of emails since my laptop broke.

Summer has ended.  School has started.  I have two weeks down....my kids have 6 days in.

A few pictures from the time period.

My oldest flew to Florida with his grandmother to see his big brother (and big brother's kids) before he deployed.  He enjoyed some big brother bonding time.

While we were in New Orleans dropping them at the airport, SIL and I made a quick run by the church where Blessed Francis Xavier Seelos ministered to German immigrants in the 1800's.  It is a b.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l church inside.  However, it is not air-conditioned while not in use, so we did not stay long.

A new statue in the courtyard at the Blessed Seelos shrine.  Do you sometimes feel like this when you pray?

When we got home from the airport, I discovered this in my son's room.

A gift from younger brother and a friend.  3 rolls, they said.  You know what they say about pay back....

Saw a rainbow one day.  I think we were on the way home from church.

And not just a little piddly half rainbow...the whole thing.  Unfortunately, it did not end over my house.

But it still is a promise that God has things under control.  Right?

Things that I do not have pictures of....

I have given a deposition.  I have appeared in and testified in court in an insurance case involving one of my students.  (took 3 different trips to court and about 3 hours altogether of waiting, which was aggravating).  Scratch that off the bucket list.  Oh wait...it wasn't on it!

I have started school.  So have the kids.  No pictures were desired by them.  I have a sophomore and a junior this year.  I am teaching the son of one of the students I taught in about 1990.  I guess that means I am officially old.  There are lots of changes for us as teachers this year. New stuff from the state and new stuff from the district. It is a little overwhelming and discouraging. I think I am at the age where it is getting more and more difficult to learn and remember new things.  I used to laugh at my older colleagues.  Now I laugh with them.

I have gone back to working out, after putting my membership on hold for the summer.  It wasn't as bad as I expected.

I have been exhausted at the end of the days.  Anything that requires more thought than posting a facebook status hasn't really happened.

Going next weekend on a couples retreat with my husband.  Please pray that it bears good fruit.

I think that's all I've got for now!

catching up

That's a title I use a lot, I think....catching up.  It's a good subject line for emails, too.

Here, summer vacation is breathing its last.  I start school in 5 days - next Monday.  I spent 2 good hours today sitting for a deposition in a lawyer's office wreaking of stale cigarette smoke, regarding a lawsuit involving one of my students.  They said I get to go with them to court next week.  Can you sense the excitement??

We had our annual altar server appreciation pizza lunch a few weekends ago.  I love that our pastor comes and eats with us.  I love that he brings the credit card and is more generous towards those who tag along with the altar servers than any one should expect.  I love that he was willing to [patiently] answer follow up questions from our conversation earlier in the week.  He does a nice job of imitating Jesus, who ate with sinners, invites us to the table, paid our debts, showed us the way, and was much more generous than any of us deserve.

We didn't take our annual group picture this year.  The lone picture of my 15 year old tuning the toy guitar that he selected with all of the tickets that he won from the games.  He was so proud.  And so funny.

Last week was the feast of Sts. Ann and Joachim, the grandparents of Jesus.  My sister-in-law invited me to a St. Ann Novena that a church near her was having.  I went one morning.  Being there at 6:15 a.m. was a little difficult.  It was the first I had heard of a St. Ann Novena.

They prayed a shortened Rosary - a St. Ann chaplet or rosary??  One group of Hail Marys was prayed in French.  There is a strong French heritage in the area, as you can see in the inscription on the statue.  Good St. Ann(e), pray for us!

My 17 year old and I went to the local art museum one rainy afternoon last week.  They had an exhibit featuring artifacts from local Catholic churches, and that was what I wanted to see.  I think I enjoyed the photography exhibit from some local artists more, however.

The Catholic church has many breath-taking works of art, vestments, vessels, etc, but I found little at this one that inspired too much awe. The Bicentennial vestments were just a bit over the top, I thought.  Our local pastors have chalices that are more exquisite than the ones featured in the exhibit, and if you ask, they (local priests) are usually more than happy to let you see it close up and tell you some of the history.  Our previous pastor's chalice had incorporated his mother's antique engagement ring in the design.

Anyway, here is the picture that I was allowed to take to document this event.

The big event of the past week was my 30th reunion.  My favorite part was the tour of the renovated school....$50 million + in renovations.  We were quite disappointed when we got there too late for the official   tour and found the doors locked.  Our little group on the front steps....I am on the left.

But not to worry....we found an open door - workmen are there frantically trying to finish the renovation before school starts in a week or so...and we gave ourselves our own tour.  It was a mixture of nostalgia walking the halls and reliving memories from 30 years past and awe at the beautiful additions and improvements.  The school "specializes" in academics and performing arts.  The library was amazing.  There are new radio and TV studios.  Several stages of varying sizes.  There was quite a bit of excitement over the two "black box theaters".  An outdoor amphitheater in the new courtyard.  My classmates remembered using a loading dock as a stage.

Much of the old beautiful detail in the main building had been restored.  The doors in the foyer.

The intricate work on the outside of the building and in the auditorium.  Windows that had long been covered over were found in the auditorium, and the natural lighting they provided was stunning.

They just don't make things like this any more!  It seems like just about everyone in the class had at least one tale that involved jumping out of windows in the course of their schooling.  I can remember doing so a couple of times.  In the back of the building, covered walk-ways provided a great exit point for the second floor windows.  Not sure the new windows will open as easily as the ones in our day.

The grand finale event was held in a ballroom overlooking the Mississippi River.  We remembered our deceased classmates...12 that we know of....

I am a small group kind of person, so those big extravaganzas are really not my thing, but it wasn't too bad!  I reconnected with a few people and enjoyed catching up with those who were close friends back in the day.

And so here we are today.  School starting soon.  I saw my classroom yesterday.  They painted it last week, and it is a wreck!  I have an idea of the schedule I will have!  First time I can ever remember that happening before school starts.  We are off to a school board meeting in a few minutes - my offspring and I - to try to knock out a requirement for their Eagle rank.

And maybe - since today is Chick Fil A Appreciation day - we will stop there and show a little love.  Love that they are true to their founding principles.  Too bad our country can't say the same.

Edited to add:  We endured the School Board meeting.  Oh my.  Upon leaving, my older offspring remarked, "That's what's wrong with the schools...."  We did go to Chick Fil A.  The picture below shows the line of cars at 7:45 pm waiting to turn in to the parking lot.  We parked and went inside.  Took about 15 or 20 minutes to get our food.  At that point in the day, they were out of chicken strips, grilled chicken and some salads.  We saw several people we knew.  One family had matching One Nation Under God t-shirts.  Another was taking pictures at the table.

Till next time....