happy new year!

What a "holiday"!  Never have I been so glad to return to work after one!  But here I am...still here...still kickin'!

Do I start at the beginning and go to the end?   Or start with the present and work backwards?

The "grandkids" were here for 10 days.  I have grandkids in quotes, because they are dear hubby's, not mine.  I don't mean to be ugly about it, but I am the mother of 2 teenagers.  I am the "uncle mama" (as the oldest grandchild accurately called me when he was much younger).  I don't feel very grandmotherly and I guess that's one thing you can't really rush.  I love my stepson, but it is not the same love that I have for my own two boys. 

Here they are...at the birthday party x 3 that was at my house. #1 is in the black shirt, #2 in the box, #3 in pink.  #4 has her back to us,  for #5  you can only see the head at the bottom of the pic, and #6 is my stepson's "mini-me"...blonde hair and all.  Here's another picture from the party...the anatomically (ahem) correct unicorn...

There were good moments, to be sure.  But it was just too much.  The parents didn't stay at my house, so when I hosted children, I couldn't be the indulgent grandmother, but rather had to work too hard at keeping law and order, feeding the picky, and keeping up with dishes and clothes.  The worst (can I complain?  yep, it's my blog, I surely can!) was New Year's Eve.  I had 4 of the six, plus my own two boys.  My husband was working.  I hadn't really asked for all 4...they just kind of ended up in my car with their backpacks.  Who was I going to send back?  Meanwhile the parents and grandmother rang in the New Year's with only 2 children.  Yeah, you might be sensing a tiny bit of resentment there.

The 5 year old slept with my younger teen, who had the pleasure of staying with him until he went to sleep/passed out.  "Mom, I don't think I want to be a teen dad," he told me after that night.  Better than all the courses on abstinence he could ever take!  Really, I wouldn't have made it without my boys!  They went outside later in the evening to pop some fireworks.  "Be especially careful not to blow off any body parts that will need reattaching," I warned them, 'because I am NOT taking six children to the emergency room!"  I was serious.

I had made it crystal clear that anyone who slept over at my house on Saturday would be going to church on Sunday, and should bring clothes appropriate for the occasion.  Still, one showed up with only the clothes she had on, and another said nothing fit, another couldn't find socks.  Nonetheless, we made it to Mass and everyone had the vital necessities covered.  The behavior was pretty good.  The five year old was probably the best.   The 12 year old made his First Communion that day.  (oops)  He has been with us to Mass before, and has always gone up for a blessing when we receive Holy Communion, but Sunday, he was seated behind us with his uncles (we have short pews that don't hold 8 people) and received.  There was nothing to do at that point. 

Anyway, as I said, there were good moments (hearing "I pooped in my underwear was NOT one of them) but 10 days was too long for me.  Call me selfish.  I went along with the program.  I did what I needed to do.  I don't think I caused any long-lasting harm to any of the children.  Chances are, I'll be in this situation again, and should probably be better prepared.  But by Sunday afternoon, I was done!  Finding the change container in my car MIA later that evening, when I needed 4¢ more to complete my transaction at the Dollar General did nothing to improve things. 

After the holidays I had had - the Christmas morning fiasco and the many moments of being a mom of many, I knew confession was a stop that needed to be on my itinerary sooner, rather than later.  On Wednesday, I dropped my kids off at the bus, and then made my way to the church near my school.  There is no Mass there on Wednesday mornings, so I spent about an hour there...just conversing with the Lord, reading a little bit, speaking with him in the tabernacle, and praying at the statue of the Holy Family, kneeling at the manger, where even there He reaches up to touch us.  I think I probably made myself more nervous than I needed to be about confession, but when I left the church that morning at about 7:30, the sun was up, and the sky was absolutely radiant.  I wish I would have had my camera, but pictures wouldn't have done it justice.  I knew then that things would be OK. 

I drove down the road to my church.  Mass is at 8, and that is too late for me with work, but confessions are at 7:45, which is perfect!  Bless me Father...it's just been a couple of weeks...but they sure were some long ones!  He's OK with a little humor, sometimes.  I said what I had to say, owned the things I needed to own, but then I had a question.  I don't generally bring up what other people say and do in confession, because it's about me, not them, but this I needed an answer to.  I hesitated, because I wasn't sure if he would give me an answer or not, but I went ahead and asked.  I have said it before, and I will say it again....my confessor is awesome!  He was so kind, so encouraging and affirming.  He laid it all on the table, spelled it out.  He knew exactly what I was asking, and knew exactly what to say in response.  I felt so much better leaving than I did coming in!  I have no idea how long we spoke - 5, 10 minutes, but it made the whole day better!

And so here we are....the Christmas season is almost over.  We have rung in 2012.  (Is anyone planning to wait until after the supposed end of time to Christmas shop this year?).  The church will soon switch over to Ordinary time for a few weeks before Lent...and life rolls on. 

Our task and my penance from yesterday to reflect on...To do the will of God, to do it in the manner in which He wills it, and to do it because it is His will.  (From St. Elizabeth Seton - who's feast was yesterday)

where to start?

Am I alone in wishing that holidays could sometimes just pass unnoticed?  It seems like there is always a holiday issue.

Keeping it real, here, people  Advent was more or less OK. Christmas Eve was nice.  Christmas morning Mass was lovely.  And then it all hit the proverbial fan.  Something was said.  Feelings were hurt (mine).  More things were said.  Voices were raised.  Doors were slammed.  All in all, it was not a pretty scene.  For the birthday celebration of the Prince of Peace. 

I am so not a door-slamming kind of person.  I let things go.  I overlook a lot.  But it just blew.  I felt justified.  I know that the other party is not totally at fault, but I also know that there is a lot of validity to what I am feeling, thinking.  I still haven't sorted through it all...still haven't figured out how to make it better.  This is where it is handy to have someone to bounce ideas off of - someone who is not going to automatically take either side, but give you an objective picture.  But that is hard to find.

I thought briefly about going to confession this morning before Mass, but I wasn't sure exactly what I'd confess or if I was actually sorry or just wanting to complain.  So I figured I'd wait...

But there were some good moments, too.  I like this picture of my dad and granddad.  My granddad turned 95 in April, and his health has not been the best in recent months.  But he was with us for Christmas - alert and "with it".   It brings back bitter-sweet memories of an elderly neighbor of my parents who was like a grandparent to us.  About three or four years ago, she was with us for Christmas - as good as ever - and then gone two weeks later. 

And this picture of my brother and sister watching their little ones play.

Dear Hubby's grandkids are visiting.  There are six - ranging in age from nearly 3 to just turned 12.  The oldest always spends most of his time with us when they visit.  He likes hanging out with "the uncles" who are nearly 15 and 16.  They enjoy him in limited quantities.  He thinks he is on vacation...but there is still boring stuff to be done - like raking leaves.

With a house that is big enough to hold a few more, we have also had some of the others spending the nights and days.  One night I had the 5, 6, and 12 year olds. The 5 year old was walking around the house at 3 am crying.   Last night was the 6 and 9 year olds.  They are good kids as kids go, but taking care of other people's kids during my Christmas break...  Is it wrong to feel that way? 

I am so thankful that my 16 year old has wrestling practice at 7 a.m.  That means we have to leave the house before they wake up.  I go to Mass and work-out or run errands waiting for him to finish.  A little bit of peace. 

Does anyone have cheese to go with my whine?

preparation and anticipation

Or alternately titled, I don't have everything bought and wrapped and need a respite from the madness.  (And making up for the recent lack of pictures.)

Wednesday, I picked up my friend for her meeting with our priest.  Wednesday was one of those days when hardly anything went right, but this did.  She met with him in his office, while I waited in the church (a blessed hour for me, for sure)  He answered all of her questions, she said what she needed to say.  He was kind and wise (as he always is) and in about an hour, nearly 40 years of "stuff" was washed away.  She said he did not talk down to her, he did not question or fuss (I had told her he wouldn't, but...).  Thank you for holy, humble priests who make time for this wonderful sacrament.  As we left, he was knocking on the door to the office of another priest who has an office on our parish property.  His turn at confession, she said.  Yep, priests go, too.  Preparing for Christmas.

Our first Christmas in our new house!!  Finally I have a house that I can decorate!!  But I had no decorations.  I was beginning to imagine that our neighbors thought we were Jewish or something.  Bought this ^ yesterday at Lowe's.  It was relatively inexpensive.  I think there are 2 categories of people - those who like white lights and those who like the colors.  We are color lights people! 

The tree is from the "old house".  As a matter of fact it was still in the shed there, and that was one of my things on Wednesday morning - extracting it.  It took up way too much square footage in the old house, but it looks quite inadequate here.  Part of it broke as we were putting it up.  Thank you to my younger child for taking care of the tree-putting-up duties.

We decorate to make things special for the one who is going to visit, the good Father says.  We need to make sure we do as much "decorating" on the inside (in our souls) as we do on the outside.  But perhaps that was an idea that was better suited for earlier in Advent.  It is kind of lost on some members of my family.  Sometimes I feel like the voice of one calling out in the desert.  Other times, I remind myself that even Jesus wasn't accepted among his people.  I mentioned to my little family the other night that Father was hearing confessions that evening from 6:30 to 7:30.  I had no takers, just a sarcastic comment.  (sigh)  I forget that I live among saints sometimes. (Oops...would that be sarcsasm?)

Waiting for the One who is to come.  I am so thrilled to have room to set up things this year.  The side view (below).  Those who have yet to arrive on the scene.

When we moved, one thing that we had in spades was wrapping paper.  We would buy it, not use it, and then by the next year, could not find it, or it was buried under whatever.  It was like an archaeological dig.  I may never have to buy wrapping paper again.  Especially if the world ends next year before Christmas.  What's the date?  December 21, 2012??  I don't keep up with that stuff.

We had a lot of Christmas lights, too.  Not sure what happened to them.  Maybe we didn't bring them?  Maybe they are still in the shed.  For whatever reason, the tree was half-lighted.

But we fixed that.  I had bought 2 of the garland thingies from Lowes - having no clue how much it would take for the bannister.  The second one became tree lights.

I have wrapped some of the presents (in vintage wrapping paper, no less).  Is it ironic that the first present under our tree is from my stepson's mother?  Probably so.  My stepson is coming in from out of town today with his wife and (6) children.  Most of them are staying at his mom's house (our old house), so we are dropping off some cots over there later today.  It is nice to have a relationship that is not full of mistrust and animosity, but it wasn't always that way.  That is why the Prince of Peace humbled Himself to come into our midst.

 
This morning after 6:30 Mass, we decorated our church - a friend and I, and the good Monsignor.  This was 2 1/2 hours of a labor of love.  We brought the flowers and the nativity figures in from the parish hall and got the wreaths and other decor out of the attic above the sacristy.  Curves was closed today, but I got my workout in, I assure you!  Monsignor took care of the sanctuary, my friend and I took care of the rest of the church.  It was our third year, and this year, it worked out well.  We all knew what needed to be done.  "Enough, but not too much," was the consensus.  He says that is how you know when decorating is well-done.

The choir loft.  That gold thing took more time than it should have to attach (with ducT tape and velcro).

A wreath underneath each station of the cross.

There were new decorations for the window sills this year.  Two years ago, we put spray-painted pine cones there.  All throughout Mass, you heard the sounds of pine cones hitting the floor.  At the end of Mass, in the back corner near the cry room, was a little pile of pine cones.  I pointed that out to our priest, and we shared a laugh. Last year, we skipped the pine cones.  This year, a parishioner made these arrangements for the window sills.  Very nice!

And when we were done, there was a beautiful poinsettia for each of us from our pastor.  "Extras," I asked?  (Was that a dumb question?)  "No, by design," he quietly said.   It is so nice to be appreciated!  And I had just the spot for it!

And so it is almost upon us.  In all of the buying and wrapping and decorating....let us not lose sight of Who's birthday it is and what we are celebrating.  May our preparations point the way to Jesus, who loved us enough to become one of us!

Not sure if I'll be back here before Christmas, but if I'm not....a joyful, peaceful, safe Christmas to all of you and yours!

Christmas

Our Christmas celebration began Christmas Eve at my sister-in-law's house with dear hubby's family.  In an effort to spend less and give more, we decided to pull names this year, with each person receiving only one gift.  I can't speak for the others, but this lessened the stress tremendously for me!  My boys weren't real excited about just getting *one* gift, but in the end, I think it worked out for them.

They got involved with the actual gift selection (instead of leaving it all for ME!) and they were happy with the gift that they got.  My younger son got Monster Energy Drinks (like he needs any energy) , gum, and an iTunes gift card from his cousin, and he thought he had won the lottery!  We spent time enjoying a seafood gumbo, making egg nog and enjoying each others' company rather than obsessing over gifts. 

Thirteen-year-old son had his uncle's name.  He put a lot of work into loading down this big box (with Sports Illustrated and other things - which was kind of a langiappe gift for his football coach uncle) - to make it appear like it was something other than a gift card. 

The grandmas collaborating over egg nog.  My mother-in-law and my brother-in-law's mom.  We took time to enjoy this, instead of seeing it as a way to delay the almighty present-opening.

I got one gift - a beautiful book about the life of the Blessed Mother from sister-in-law.  Artwork and explanations.  She said the Blessed Mother led her to it, and that works just fine for me!

We went to Mass this morning - both the boys and I had to serve at 8:30.  Yesterday I had floated the idea of opening gifts AFTER Mass (Jesus first, then presents).  I figured things would be rushed before Mass.  Surprisingly, the idea was well-received, and that's pretty much what we did.

Mass seemed somewhat anti-climatic after Advent and after helping with the decorating.  The Christmas Eve Mass (which we did NOT attend this year) was packed to the rafters last night, but there were plenty of places to sit this morning.  It was beautiful.  It always is.  Father's homily was about there being no coincidences with God.  That Jesus being born in Bethlehem and being placed in a manger was no coincidence.  Bethlehem literally meaning "House of Bread" and a manger being where food is placed.  Jesus - the food for our journey back to Him - being placed in a manger.  He is there to give be our courage when we feel anxious.  He is there to embrace us when we are tempted.  He is there to be our strength when we are weak.  He is there to show us His heart (which is Mercy) when we fall.  All because we are engraved as a deep wound upon His heart.  (that image again)

After Mass, we went back home and opened gifts!  I only got one, but it was an iPad.  No further words are needed!!  We did not spend less on the boys this year.  X-box, iPod dock and other assorted things.

Then we drove to my parents' house and enjoyed the family there.  My kids got pajama pants and money, and seemed pretty happy.  When we got home, I remarked to my husband that it was a good Christmas.  We didn't get any useless presents.  He agreed.

There were a ton of good pictures from my parents' house, but these are some of my favorites.

 

My 3-year-old niece.  She looks so bored by the activity!

My Godchild.  He's 2!  Look at him put out those candles..  He has a great future as an altar server!

Here he is with Grandma making punch.  She is one of his absolute favorite people in the world.

 

My grandfather with my niece.  He will be 95 in a few months, and her birthday is within a week.  He has the best thing in the world right here - a sleeping baby on his lap.  Appropriate for the day that God broke into our history and became a sleeping baby in our Blessed Mother's arms. 

Merry Christmas!

getting ready

It has been a great Advent!  I went into it with few expectations other than a resolution to be more faithful to prayer.  With God's grace, that has gone quite well!

I did take a day at the beginning of December to go on a Day of Recollection, and that was wonderful!  I came away from that time of reflection with a couple of things - God wants me to be patient and God wants me to look for Him in the paperwork and the meetings - in the things of ordinary life.  The very next Sunday, one of the readings was about patience, and it seems like that topic has come up time and again in my daily prayers from the Liturgy of the Hours.

I went to confession, and made sure that my boys had the opportunity to go.  My penance - once I dumped the darkness in my life - was to reflect on and give thanks to God for the way His Light is able to shine in my life.   I took one of my boys the other night when Father set aside an extra hour to hear confessions, and he said that he got to suggest his own penance.  I've gotten some variation of that a time or two.  My teenager's take on it was "Hey, it's YOUR job to come up with the penance." 

Shopping has not been over the top this year.  I feel a little bad that I don't think their will be too many (any?) surprises for my boys under the tree.  But there will be things.  Things that they want.  We drew names with dear hubby's family, and that cut the gift list nearly in half.  With my family, we decided to buy for our Godchildren.  I ended up with an "adopted" Godchild to ensure that no kid would be left without a gift, but it's all good.  I bought him a few small items, but also included a necklace with a medal of his patron saint, and had it blessed this morning.

I had wanted to do a post about the O Antiphons.  Maybe tomorrow?  Christmas Eve - yeah, right.  Maybe next year?

Last year, my sons and some other Boy Scouts were in need of service hours for their rank advancement.  The good Monsignor graciously allowed them to help with decorating the church for Christmas.  I think all he really wanted them for was to carry the Nativity figures from the hall to the church, but we ended up staying a couple of hours.  The boys were somewhat helpful with other things, and the other mom and I enjoyed helping, too.  When we offered to help this year again, there was no hesitation.

The boys got stuff from the attic and closet, hung wreathes, carried figures and flowers, and generally helped out.  Father likes to have a hand in things, so he was there calling the shots.  The lady who has been doing the decorating for several years is "retiring", and asked the other mom and I if we would like to "take over".  I am now one-half of the decorating "committee".  So ironic, because decorating is so NOT one of my gifts.   

Older child hanging a wreath.  

The Nativity Scene.  This was the work of the good Monsignor.

Notice the candles on either side.  

That ties in with the candles on either side of the altar and the candles on either side of the tabernacle.  

The Light of the World.

Decoration on the choir loft.  It looks uneven/weird because the sun is shining through.

Wreathes under the Stations of the Cross.  We "fluffed and hung".

The Sanctuary.  The altar is bare, but Father said he'd take care of that later.  

We down-sized our tree and decorated today.  Now there are signs at my house that Christmas is coming. 
Christmas Eve will be my official "wrapping day". 

Ready or not - here He comes!  Are we more ready to receive Him into our lives than we were four weeks ago?  He is with us always.  God-with-us.  Do we find Him (or even look for Him) in the drudgery of meetings and paperwork and ordinary life?

From today's homily:  Does Jesus really make a difference in our lives?  Are we willing to let Him draw us closer?  (If not, then we are celebrating a pagan solstice - not Christmas.)    The bottom line borrowed from John - "I must decrease so that He can increase." 

home stretch

Here we are in the fourth week of Advent.  Someone pointed out how fortunate we are to actually get the full four weeks of Advent this year!

We got out for the Christmas Break (yes, it is still called CHRISTMAS holidays here) on Friday.  Sixteen glorious school-free days stretched ahead.  But they are flying by.  They really are the shortest days of the year!

 A couple of pictures from last Saturday:

 

Our little group of Boy Scouts celebrated Christmas with a bonfire and gumbo.  It's become an annual tradition.  The weather was great for it this year - not too cold, but cool enough that the warmth of the fire was appreciated.  The company was good, and the food - as always - was delicious.  

One thing that we don't want to become an annual tradition is what happened on Monday.  The owners of the property where the fire was held had checked the fire on Sunday, wet it down, etc.  They were a little surprised to get a call on Monday saying that their pasture was on fire!  Took six fire trucks to put it out!  But only grass was burned, so that was fortunate.  Those trees to the right in the top picture - weed trees (Chinese Tallow; they call them "Chicken Trees" here) - anyway, the property owner wanted them to burn.  Naturally, the fire went around them!  They are still standing.

Went to daily Mass Monday morning.  It was so nice to get there early since I didn't have to worry about waking anyone up and getting them out the door and on a bus.  Time to enjoy the silent presence of God.  

As we left church, one of the Sisters commented about how beautiful this tree was:  

I'm glad she noticed it.  And I just happened to have my camera with me...so I snapped a picture!  

Our priest heard confessions Monday night - first time he's ever added extra time to the confession schedule, so that was a nice treat!  I had one child who hadn't been in a few months, so we dropped by.  Other child and I had gone a couple of weeks ago.  I thought about going again - if for nothing else than the example thing - but it just wasn't calling my name.  I was glad to see that there were a handful of other sinners there.  Hopefully, our dear priest felt it was worth his while and will do it again.  Thirty minutes on Saturday afternoon and 3 mornings a week from 6:15 - 6:25 just isn't very much to pick from!

I have put together 2 photo books in the past week.  They came out nice (I hope), but I'm pretty certain that the one I finished today won't be here in time for Christmas Eve.  I have an idea of something simple I can put together so SIL will have something to open.  I also made a photo calendar for my parents.  Time consuming, but I'm always pleased with the results.  

This has been the least stressful before-Christmas period that I can ever remember.  I still have stuff to buy, and I have wrapped nothing, but it is still do-able, and I naturally wait until the last minute.  No tree has been put up yet.  We have down-sized our gift list (which has probably greatly contributed to lower stress) and I think we are going to down-size the tree, as well.  Bah-humbug? 

Stayed up late last night (partly for the eclipse).  Got up early for Mass.  Took a nap this afternoon.  Which will cause me to stay up late again.  Isn't vacation great?

Thursday, we (me and the boys) are helping with decorations at church.  We did that last year, as service for Boy Scouts, and it was fun!  Looking forward to it this year.  The boys had a great time climbing around in the attic at church, and they must not have stressed our pastor too much, because he readily accepted our offer to help this year.

Chances are I'll be blogging again between now and Christmas.  But if not - a very, Merry Christmas to you and yours.  O Come, O Come Emmanuel.  God-is-with-us!

christmas blues

Don't get me wrong, I like Christmas, though I probably like Advent more - the preparing and anticipating and waiting, the quiet expectation.  Christmas brings family togetherness, food.  The smiles on my kids' faces when they get something they really wanted.  All good things.   I just wish there was less emphasis on the gifts and more emphasis on THE gift.  

Last year, money was tight in the extended family, and the gifts were scaled back some.  There was less expectation.  This year, I feel like I let down some of the recipients.  Our gifts did not match up dollar for dollar.  And when the gift-giving is basically exchanging gift cards, it's easy to see who spent what.  On the other hand, I did not go in debt up to my eyeballs.

God is good!  Maybe someday there will be more focus on THE GIFT and less on the gifts!

God is with us!

O come let us adore Him...

One of the scouts who helped us decorate was taken at the appearance of "flaming straw" around Baby Jesus and commented about it (more than once) to Father, who finally said, "Yes, He is burning with love for you.....are you on fire with love for Him?"  And that was part of the homily tonight.  Another point, was that straw is rather useless material.  Our lives are like the straw, waiting for Jesus to rest in the "stuff" of our lives. 

A few pictures from our decorating excursion at church yesterday:

Merry Christmas!

ready or not...

Here He comes!

This Advent has been relatively stress free.  My shopping was done yesterday - 2 days ahead of schedule by my standards.  I still need to wrap, but there is tomorrow for that, and some of it is done already. 

The tree was put up a couple of days ago.  Or half of it, anyway.  We decided to leave off the back side of it, in order to make it a little more compact.  Space is at a premium.  No ornaments this year, thanks to the cat.  But it looks nice with some twinkly lights and candy canes.  And an angel on the top that was handmade by the mother of one of my students 15 years ago or so.  Its head is a little droopy - maybe I should try to fix that.

Went to confession a week or so ago, so our souls are relatively clean; the house not so much.

Lessons and Carols was Sunday night at church.  We listened to readings recapping our salvation history and listened to/sang carols between readings.  Our choir did a wonderful job, and it was an hour well-spent.

Christmas cards got skipped this year, and I have a feeling I am not the only one.  I think I have only received 3, in spite of the fact that I actually sent them out last year!

Baking cookies was a thought.  Even bought the dough (slacker, I know).  But the kids decided (and I agree) that eating the dough is more satisfying than the cookies, soooo....the baking didn't quite happen this year.

The church is decorated.  I don't do much decorating at home, so this satisfied my decorating urge.  We were there because the boys needed service hours for their next rank in scouts.  I had been told that we would be needed to unpack some boxes, carry in the nativity pieces, and hang some stuff.  I really thought it would be 20 or 30 minutes, but we were there for 2 1/2 hours!  The boys did unpack boxes and carry pieces from the hall to the church.  We hung thingies on the walls.  They climbed around in the church attic looking for spray-painted pine cones.  We fluffed bows.  They hauled live plants and fake trees here and there.  I will try to take some pictures after Mass tomorrow and post them.  Our beautiful little church was all set for Christmas when we left!


Come Lord Jesus!