horizontal or vertical

One thing that caught my attention tonight that I could relate to on a personal level was the observation that we can't be one way with the people around us and another way with God.  The way in which we conduct our "horizontal" relationships with the people who make up the fabric of our lives is also the way in which we live our "vertical" relationship with God.

I could relate to this, because in the not-too-distant past, I realized that the same attitudes I often had in prayer were also the same attitudes that my family was subjected to (for lack of a better word).  The lack of time, lack of enthusiasm, just going through the motions was present in both places.  So that was kind of a personal "lightbulb moment" for me. 

the hole in the sidewalk

Can you stand more "religious" stuff?  Sorry, it's Lent.  That's where I'm at. 

Sister-in-law and I have spent the last two evenings at a Lenten mission at a parish not too far away given by a local priest.  I walked away last night thinking I had heard most of what he had to say before.  (Last spring I attended a day of recollection that he gave, and sometimes I go to daily Mass at his parish, so he wasn't an unfamiliar face.)  Tonight, he reviewed, and I realized how much he had covered last night, and took notes tonight. There are probably easily several posts in the things he shared tonight. 

God loves us as we are, where we are.  But He loves us too much to leave us there. 

So tonight was about change.  About confession and conversion.  Because the "Catholic flaw" is celebrating the sacraments over and over again without conversion.  That ho-hum attitude.

One avenue to change and conversion involves the "AAA plan".....Awareness, Acknowledgment, and Acceptance. 

To illustrate this, he used "An Autobiography in 5 Short Chapters" by Porsche Nelson.  It is short, and worth sharing here.

Chapter 1:  I walk down the street and there’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault. It takes me forever to find my way out.

Chapter 2:  I walk down the same street and there’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again. I can’t believe that I’m in the same place, but it isn’t my fault. It takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3:  I walk down the same street there’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see that it is there. I still fall in.  It’s a habit.  My eyes are open. I know it’s my fault. I get out immediately.

Chapter 4:  I walk down the same street there’s a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.

Chapter 5:  I walk down another street.

blessed are the helpful

Friday, my husband remembered that he was out of one of his blood pressure meds.  He had taken the bottle to the pharmacy earlier in the week (and left it), but is was not time for it to be refilled.  So, Friday evening I called to see about it.  Clearly, whoever answered the phone had had a long day or a long week.  Dear hubby does not remember the names of his meds.  He goes by things like "big white pill", "reddish pill", "the one I take twice a day".  Drives me crazy, but I can no longer remember all of his, what they are for, their strengths,  etc.  There is only so much space in my memory.

Anyway, I explained the situation to the young lady who answered the phone.  Dear hubby is telling me in the background, "Tell her it's a little white pill."   Wrong thing to say to someone who works in a pharmacy on a Friday evening.  "Well ma'am, we have thousands of white pills."  Anyway, we ended up with some medication, to get him through the weekend until the doctor could reauthorize the script, but it was the wrong one.  (Blue capsules).

He went out of town yesterday, so there was no need to run there yesterday.  I thought maybe I'd have better luck if I stopped by this morning after Mass, and I was right.  There was a nice young man working behind the counter.  I told him I needed his help and explained the situation.  He asked for dear hubby's date of birth and name, pulled up his information on the computer, and within about 90 seconds, we had the name of the medication.  He told me it had 2 refills left and offered to get one ready.  He told me to bring dear hubby's drivers's license next time and they would be able to print out a list of all of his meds, in case we forget a name again. 

Thank you, Lord, for helpful people.

zero tolerance

Mass today was awesome.  It's always awesome, or maybe I just have an awesome parish.  I don't know.

Father highlighted the following texts from the readings and went from there:  Therefore I have come down to rescue them from the hands of the Egyptians and lead them into a good and spacious land... (Exodus 3)  Merciful and gracious is the LORD, slow to anger and abounding in kindness.  (Psalm 103)  Therefore, whoever thinks he is standing secure should take care not to fall. (1Corinthians 10:12) But I tell you, if you do not repent, you will all perish as they did. (Luke 13)

I'm paraphrasing.  Jesus was sent to set us free.  God DOES want us free - from our addictions, our attitudes, our bad habits, our selfishness.  He sends us His strength and His mercy, he offers us freedom, BUT we have to claim it for ourselves.  The Lord IS merciful, gracious, kind, and slow to anger.  He wants nothing more than for us to be with Him.  But at some point, the mercy and kindness comes to an end, and we will be judged on the fruit our lives produced.  God does not tolerate sin.

I think there is a tendency for modern people to think of God as a big ol' teddy bear in the sky saying, "Sure, go ahead, do whatever you feel like.  We'll talk when you get up here and we'll figure things out then."  It came as a rude awakening for me several years ago when I realized that I when I got to the Pearly Gates that I would not be entitled to an attorney and one would not be appointed for me if I couldn't afford one.  Because after all, I could justify just about every wrong thing I'd ever done - from the most serious all the way down to the most trivial.  No,  I was going to be standing there all by myself and I wouldn't need to say a word because God already knew it all.  All my excuses... they wouldn't be good for anything.  Can you say, "Wake up call?"

Anyway, back to Mass....  If we think we don't need God...if we think we're "standing secure" as St. Paul says, maybe we better think again.

The Gospel today talks about people being killed with a tower fell on them.  It was only 18 people...must not have been a very big tower.  But it brought back memories for me of the day that The Towers fell.  And that day was huge for me.  I knew instinctively that those people were no more guilty than me, but I had been in those Towers that day, it would not have been good. 

 Father also asked rhetorically what we are doing for Lent and why.  He explained that Lent is about doing religious things.  Anyone can do "religious things" anytime, anywhere.  It is a time for doing "religious things" FOR A PURPOSE.  So that God can effect a behavior change in us, so that we can become closer to Him.  To just do religious things with no purpose is voodoo, superstition, or worse, hypocrisy.  Quoting there.  (That's what he said!)  So that makes me look at some of my lenten "stuff".  I can see where some of it fits the bill - it is about changing and growing and letting Him work.  Other stuff... I'm.not so sure.

After the homily was the Scrutinies for the three Elect in our parish  who will be joining the Church at Easter.  That was interesting; I'd never seen/experienced it before.  The Elect and their sponsors were called forward.  Father explained that this is a time when they scrutinize their lives to see what is in need of change.  There was a brief time of silent prayer, and then a blessing.  Then he placed his hands on each of their heads (praying silently, I suppose).

The music was amazing.  This is the Mass that the choir sings at.  The song at the Offertory was the spiritual Let My People Go  Beautifully, beautifully sung of course. 

And that is that.  I know there has been much spiritual "stuff" on this blog lately, but that's what's on my mind.  Apologies if it's boring.  Stick around.  Sooner or later, there will be work-related vents, things with the kids, or who knows what.

but the greatest of these is love

I remember being at Mass several months ago (or maybe a year or more) and hearing the scripture from 1Cor13, and thinking that I had screwed up at most of the items on the list.  I mean, I used to like that passage - it sounded so nice - all about love.  But then I got married...  Love is patient (x that off the list).  Love is kind (ummm.... well), etc.  I could just copy chapter 13, take it to confession and say, "Look, Father... everything in here, I have messed up at one time or another."  And so that has stayed in the back of my mind for a while.

Then earlier this year, I heard the good people on KLOVE talking about something called "The Love Dare".  It is a 40 day devotional that guides you to an understanding of what true love is. It's a choice.  I knew with the 40 days, it had Lent's name all over it.  I went to the local Catholic bookstore early in Lent and got the last copy on the shelf.  And so I am working through that.  So far, I highly recommend it.  It might very well be an answer to the prayer, "Help me to love better."  Because if I do not have love, I gain nothing. (1Cor13:3)  But it didn't take me long to figure out that I had a long way to go, and in some of those areas, my dear hubby is actually *gasp* doing a better job than me!  

Coincidentally enough, following up an awesome Bible Study lesson on unforgiveness (Matt 18) two weeks ago,  was one on marriage (Matt 19).  The presentation was pretty good, but I think what touched me more than the DVD presentation was the homework.  Part of what we had to do was to read what the Catholic Catechism has to say about marriage.  I had never read that before, but I thought it was beautiful.  Paragraphs 1601-1617 and 1642.  You can read that here, should the spirit move you.  It helps to explain the source of the conflict (thanks, Adam and Eve) and the plans God really has for marriage. 

We are all very much works in progress, but hopefully by the end of Lent, I will be more than the clanging cymbal that St. Paul speaks of.

consumed

From this morning's homily at Mass.  (and don't ask me how it ties in with the readings exactly, though I may take a stab at that later).

In the Italian Mediterranean there is a species of jellyfish that consumes a certain kind of snail.  However, the jellyfish's digestive system can not digest the snail's shell.  So..... when the jellyfish consumes the snail, the snail attaches to the inner lining of the jellyfish.  (Do jellyfish have stomachs?)  As the snail grows, it consumes the jellyfish.  By the time it is fully grown, the jellyfish has been completely consumed.  How's that for payback?  The consumed becomes the consumer and the consumer becomes the consumed.

So switching gears...we consume the Eucharist at Mass - the Real Presence of Jesus.  Does He attach Himself to our stomach lining?  No, but He does attach Himself to our hearts, our souls, our being, if we are open to Him.  We can be consumed with love for Him because of his Love for us.  The consumer becomes consumed. 

And the tie-in is this, I think.  This was the story of the rich man in Luke, who totally ignored the poor, sore-covered Lazarus who was at his door.  The rich man ended up in torment in the netherworld, while Lazarus went off to better things.  The rich man was consumed with things of this world.

What are we consumed by?  What are we dining on?

one paradox

A few entries back, I mentioned something about paradoxes.  The more I learn, the more I see the paradoxes in Scripture.  The last shall be first.  The lowly will be exalted.  Finding true freedom when you submit to the will of God.  Finding strength in weakness.  Things like that.  And surely there are dozens more.

One such paradox has been running around in my head since this weekend, and it seems the only way that I will get it out of my head is to write it down.  Kind of a mental download, I guess. 

The sacrament of reconciliation.  By its very nature, there is some degree of humility involved.  And humility is not a bad thing.  What I find that happens, though, and I don't quite understand how or why, is that from the humility required for the sacrament arises a certain amount of dignity.  The dignity that allows one to walk through life with the knowledge that they are a beloved daughter or son of God. 

I have known this for a while.  During the spring of the year, I often find myself overwhelmed with paperwork, very stressed, and not very nice to be around.  I remember saying to myself, and anyone who didn't have the good sense to run the other direction, that I didn't like the person I became at that time of the year.  And then it dawned on me - if you don't like the person you have become, there is a place to go; a place to do something about it; a way to get through a very trying time with some dignity intact.   And so one morning, I went to confession, and explained about the paperwork and the resulting stress and ugliness, and expressed my sorrow for my part in it.  And there I received encouragement, advice, forgiveness, and absolution.  It was great!  Nearly a year later, I still remember the advice.

I had a similar experience this weekend.  I went in with things that I have seen, but didn't really like about  myself.  I explained (without excuses).  I let it go and passed it along to God to handle.  Maybe it is about facing our issues honestly and seeing that God is not scared away by our weaknesses, failures, and shortcomings.  He embraces us and welcomes us back.  Now I finally feel like I can move forward with God walking along side of me.  Awesome, awesome.

From humility comes dignity?